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Despite the insane darkness and unbelievable quiet at night, I’ve actually felt very safe in the suburbs. That is – until the alarm guy showed up.

The guy was just creepy.

First of all, he never peed or had a glass of water in the entire 4 hours that he was at my house which just seems strange and unnatural. How can he properly install an alarm system when he’s clearly completely dehydrated?!

And he kept talking about all the different ways someone could break into a home, most of which had never occurred to me.

And then I realized that THIS guy could break in anywhere.

“So how do they make sure the people who work for the security companies aren’t criminals?” (You know, I was just making polite conversation.)

“You think I’m a criminal? It’s just the beard,” he responded.

Actually it’s because you’re SUPER creepy.

“No, no, not you! I just mean – in general. Because all you guys know everyone’s security codes, the easiest way to break in, that kind of thing,” I explain.

“We have thorough background checks. More extensive than the FBI,” he says.

Yeah, right.

“Oh, that’s great! Umm… I’m just wondering, how do I change my security code?” I ask.

The alarm guy did finally leave and that night I did not put on the alarm.

I was way too nervous to actually use it.

I thought I would accidentally set it off and wake the girls. And I’m far more afraid of awake children in the middle of the night than some dumb burglar.

mama bird notes:

You can still win Blue Bunnyยฎ ice cream for an entire year! Just leave a comment at the end of this post. Good luck ice cream lovers.

49 Responses to yup, everything is safe here

  • Jennifer H says:

    Better tell your girls to work on their street cred…let everyone know that your house is off limits to burglars.

    Or you could get a dog. Hard to say which one is easier.

  • Kathy says:

    Sometimes it’s just a piece of mind that you have it. We used ours all the time in SLC, Utah. My husband travelled alot and I felt more at ease. Plus I need to know if my teen is sneaking out!!

  • Inna says:

    I never thought of the fact that you have to set up an alarm in the house… geez, I think maybe I’ll stay in the city a little longer. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • kristen says:

    my daughter knows how to turn on and off the alarm system, it’s actually what she begs to do…i’m sure very much the way your girls would want to push the elevator button.

    suburban living…you can’t beat it for the fun!

  • Caroline says:

    Or you could just set beer bottles on top of doorknobs….what’s that Jack Nicholson movie?? Hehe! smilinggreenmom *tweet me!

  • MN Mama says:

    You are funny! Hang in there friend. I hope the burbs are treating you well. Has is stopped raining yet?

  • EW says:

    We figure anyone breaking into our home would trip on the bouncy seat, basketball hoop or maybe even my unused exercise ball by the door. One look at our place and they’re not coming in any further! Blue Bunny would be nice, especially while I’m sitting on the couch looking at my exercise ball.

  • Dixie Chick says:

    I too was more scared of the children being awake in the middle of the night than of a burgular.
    The signage for the alarm company use to be the deterrent. People would just put up a sign. Now thieves bust in, and if the alarm is on, they run.

  • christy says:

    Ours went off accidentally once and we’ve never turned it back on. I’m with you – awake children in the middle of the night is the pits!

  • HaB says:

    If some one wanting to get in our house can navigate their way across the deck, and the sea of outdoor toys and then get past the piles of shoes that are always, always always by the door – then have at it.

    And, since we live so far out in Upstate NY that some night we forget *gasp* to even lock the door.

  • Becky says:

    I think there is a show on TLC or Discovery that is all about how to break into houses. This guy comes to a house with a crew of criminals (?) former criminals (?) or maybe it’s your alarm guy. He points out all the vulnerable places and then breaks in. Then he demonstrates how to fix each weak spot. My friend’s husband watches that show and then implements every method that relates to his house. I’d hate to live in fear like that. I still forget to lock the doors when I leave home.

  • Sandrine says:

    once our car had been stolen and was waiting nicely for us at the precinct, we called AAA to help us get the car to the garage and the guy tells my husband “if I show you how to start the car would you do it yourself…I used to be a car thief!!!”…
    so you never know what skills can help you get work in life…

  • Cathy says:

    That is so funny — Anytime I think about getting a security system installed, I follow that up with, “But the guy who installs it could so totally break in anytime!” Glad to hear of other people who think like I do — although that’s a little scary, too!

  • Once upon a time, we found out that one of Megawatt’s friends used to “boost” cars when he helped us get into our nearly-impossible to break into Volvo, in order to get the keys out.

    He knew entirely too much about how impossible they are to get into and after we questioned him, he admitted that he’d been busted before, as a minor, for breaking into cars.

  • Madge says:

    I’ve always been a little creeped out by the fact that any people coming into our home to work never have to use the bathroom. ever.

  • Heather says:

    Hi…and welcome to Westchester! I just came across your blog, and have been laughing! We moved to Westchester from NYC about a year an a half ago, and I’m still waiting for friends! And…that alarm. Sure enough, we were robbed the day after the security guy came to evaluate the house. Fortunately, it was an unfortunate coincidence, and they DID catch the evil XXX, but anyway…they say it’s a safe area.
    Good luck with the move…if I knew where you were, I’d drop off that pound cake!

  • ErinB says:

    My alarm system and I are BFF. I would rather risk it going off by accident then having a killer in my house, at the foot of my bed, with a knife… no not paranoid…why do you ask??

  • Mary says:

    I wonder on a daily basis why we pay for our security system. I tried to set it once – It beeped at me, I freaked out and haven’t tried since!

  • Amy says:

    I always wondered that too! Say Joe Blow criminal gets a job with alarm company and works there for a time. All the while making copious notes of the customers alarm set up. Then BINGO, rash of robberies!

  • Alarm systems are a must for me! When I was a teenager, we lived on Capitol Hill and people tried to break into our house while we were sleeping a few times. As soon as my husband and I left the world of apartments/condos, I insisted on an alarm system. I couldn’t sleep at night otherwise.

  • brianpapa says:

    I don’t know, Kelcey, the burbs seem to be bringing out the best in you. And your commenters. Loving the story and the clever commenters.
    We have a stupid smoky oven that sets off the fire alarm every time we make something…which, of course, is only when sienna’s sleeping after, like, 12 hours of not sleeping. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Kristin says:

    I set the alarm off at my mom’s house once. And it was L-O-U-D!! Not car alarm loud, not rock concert loud, but put-your-hands-over-your-ears-and-press-real-tight-but-get-no-relief loud. The security code didn’t work (my mom had changed it or I entered it wrong) so my grandmother and myself just sat outside the house until the cops arrived. And hoped the neighbors wouldn’t come over and hang us later! Blue bunny looks yummier and yummier on those TV commercials!

  • Jeanne says:

    We had a service for awhile after there was a home invasion down the street a few years back. Then money got tight; now all we have is the sign in the front yard and the keypad!

  • johanna says:

    Free ice cream would be very spectacular! Almost as great as knowing your alarm is on when you sleep. You’ll grow to love it!!

  • You know, I’d forgotten all about it but I had the same thought when our alarm was installed. That guy knew ALL the tricks. First thing I did was change the code!! I’m tricky, that way. ๐Ÿ™‚ Foiling crime at every turn.

  • Phyllis says:

    So I read your blog about the creepy alarm guy. Actually I think there was a serial murderer in Kansas who installed alarm systems for some of his victims. So your anxiety may not be all that unfounded. I say sleep with that gun you thought you wouldn’t need since you left NYC.

  • Jodie says:

    It took four hours?! Geez, that’s a long time. I think it took our guy an hour maybe. My parents just don’t understand why I feel the need to have it armed during the day. I try to explain that even though I live in the suburbs, it’s really the suburban ghetto where there are home invasions, robberies, and burglaries but they just don’t get it!

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kelcey kintner