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This week my twins, Chase and Harlowe (AKA Charlowe) turned 4.

When they woke up, I heard them wishing each other happy birthday which was ridiculously cute.

As for me – I feel like I just survived some very long twins hazing ritual. I feel so blessed to have these wonderful children but the first few years kicked my ass. Seriously. For those of you with triplets and more, how are you getting through the day?!

With my twins, I’m now reaping the rewards of constant playmates. And even if Chase still comes out of his bedroom 14 times a night to ask me things like, “Do elephants have mouths?” I have survived.


So I would be very selfish if I didn’t share some of my twins knowledge so other moms can know that they too will get through the first few ultra fierce years.


— There will be a moment (after the initial birthing glow has worn off) when you will want to get into your car, drive to the airport and fly to Paris. You may even get on the highway and follow the airport signs. (All of a sudden you will say to yourself – I get where Marie Osmond was coming from.)

This is completely normal behavior. You are mostly doing this because you are in desperate need of sleep. DESPERATE. Don’t go to Paris. You will get sleep again. You will settle for a nap and a croissant for now.

— You can breastfeed two children at the same time. Football hold with a nursing pillow the size of Texas. You can also not breastfeed two children. Or a combination. Do whatever works for you and your twins. No guilt.

— There will be a lot of crying. From you. From the twins. From your husband whose keys you just accidentally dropped down a sewer drain because how are you supposed to pay attention to keys when you are trying to get two babies out of a car so you can get one very much needed latte.

Don’t feel bad that you’re crying. Gratitude + Being Completely Overwhelmed = More Tears Than When “Friday Night Lights” Went Off The Air.

— You will think you will never leave the house. You can. Take a walk. Put them both in a double stroller. Put one in a Bjorn and the other in a single stroller. Or take a drive. Put them both in their carseats and then don’t forget the stroller frame (just make sure you know how to open it). But leave the house.

— Pay anyone (other than the guy who just showed up to fix your cable because he has a busy day with a lot of appointments) to help you.

— No one is allowed to leave the house without a baby. Especially at night. My husband and I realized this when I went to the grocery store and left him home with two screaming newborns. I left the store half way through my deli order and bolted home. My pound of Virginia ham is probably still waiting for me.

It’s really difficult to console two crying babies. Going out grocery shopping? Out for a much needed glass of wine with a friend? Take a baby with you. It’s like your phone but doesn’t fit in your pocket. You always have it with you.

— If you don’t see any dirt and it smells okay enough – it’s still clean. Put those clothes right back in the drawer.

— Babies don’t need baths everyday. But by day 3, get those infants in the tub because no one wants to hold a stinky kid.

Nothing can ever be fair enough. Harlowe once saw a photo of her in the front of the stroller and Chase in the back and wanted to know, “Mommy, the next time I am a baby, can I be in the back of the stroller?”

You are now in the business of creating the illusion of fairness. So of course I said – “Yes Harlowe, the next time you are a baby, you can absolutely sit in back!”

— Finally, if you need to know what to buy and borrow for twins, check out a piece I did for Cool Mom Picks awhile back.

— And just know that one day, they do really turn into this…

harlowe in sunglasses

chase at pool

twins on motorcycles


29 Responses to you can survive twins. i promise.

  • Susan says:

    I just found out who you and where you worked. Felt a bit intimidated by writing to you as I have always been a stay at home Mom and raised 3 wonderful sons. Anyway I don’t expect you to write back to me but just wanted to let you know that I love reading your blog even if my boys are in there 30’s. You bring back such nice memories of when babies and children are little and I often chuckle to my self while reading your life adventures. Keep the fun coming.
    Kind Regards,

  • Precious! It’s clear the specialness and blessings of those beautiful twins was worth all the delirium in the world. Happy birthday you two and happy BIRTH day mama bird!

  • Liza Tidwell says:

    My twins will be one in 4 weeks. The first 10 months was dark… Very dark. We also have a 2.5 year old.

    So happy to read your piece. Funny and truthful.

    And I’m happy to say our days are no longer dark. We get out the house, we meet up with friends and last night we even went to see a band. Life is good.

  • Alison says:

    I’m 18 weeks pregnant with twins (boy/ girl too!), and they’re my 3rd and 4th child, so to say that I’m terrified – it’s an understatement.

    I am prepared (somewhat) for no sleep, crying and breastfeeding. I’m still terrified. Thank you for allaying some of those fears.

    Happy Birthday to Charlowe!

  • Kate says:

    Haha! Good read. My twin girls will be 4 in a few days too and I am sooooo glad we’ve got this far. I will pass this on to my friends with 2.5 week old twins 🙂

  • Denise says:

    I can’t believe they are 4. They are so beautiful and grown up. I hope Rick is taking you (sans kids) to Paris for their birthday.

  • You can survive twins. Mine are 2 1/2 and I agree with Liza above…I think I blocked the first six months out of my memory completely! Now we have an 8- month-old and seriously…is there anything easier than caring for one baby? I think not!

    Happy Birthday to your sweet twins!!

  • Alex says:

    Oh my god, I SO would have been on that plane to paris. Happy birthday to Charlowe!! Twins that cute must have the most amazing mom in the world.

  • Mary Clare says:

    Aww. Cute baby photos almost erase those memories of sleep deprivation and the CRYING, don’t they? You start to think, it wasn’t that bad. Amazing how that works! Congrats on getting through the tough stuff!

  • Rita says:

    My boy/girl twins are 16–and I agree with those who sing the praises of 4. I LOVED 4! In fact, it’s pretty much all uphill now. Well, until middle school. But we don’t need to go there today… 🙂 (Found you via Alexandra Rosas, btw. Loved this post. Brought back good memories.)

  • Heath says:

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  • Ashley says:

    My twins will be five in a few short months. Those first few years are survival mode but now they do and awesome job entertaining each other. I have a one year old singleton and I am amazed at the difference. The bath thing- totally true.

  • Selina says:

    Thank you. I feel a little more confident having read this. I have a 5 year old and twins on the way in 12 days and was starting to go into panic mode. I feel reassured that I will survive.

  • meg says:

    I have 2 girls aged 6 and 4 and I am 14 weeks pregnant with twins due in the fall. So I will take all the twin tips I can get! The only difference is that I am getting my tubes tied when I have them so I don’t end up with a 5th (although your baby is super cute)…happy bday to your twins and congrats on surviving!

  • Deanna says:

    First and foremost Happy Birthday, my boys are 17 enjoy the younger years it is the best time of all it goes by in an instant you will all forget the sleep deprivation the feelings of wanting to flee as they grow and mature and get ready to leave your nest it is by far the worst ever. Hold those babies tight enjoy each milestone and every sleepy day you will be wishing them back again I promise. One sad mom of almost grownup twins.

  • Jamie says:

    They are GORGEOUS! My ID g/g twins will be 3 in July. It really does feel like desperation in the beginning. Definitely tears…LOTS of them! Now it is the tantrum and pushing boundaries stage. I am hoping that at 4, that will all end. You give me hope. 🙂

  • This is so great! I’m in the first 6 months of having twins and I can certainly relate to this! There are hard days, very hard days, and days that really aren’t that hard, but those are few and far between! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and I look forward to reading more!

  • ErinB says:

    Oh those little faces…as babies with the paci’s and now today. Just beautiful and sweet! Nobody rocked having twins like you! You are amazing!! xo

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kelcey kintner