1. One should never go shopping for shoes with four children.
2. Shoe boxes look very similar. We accidentally put the wrong shoes back in the wrong box many many times. Our sales person did not find this particularly helpful.
3. 15-month-old Chase will run out of the store and into the mall 37 times.
4. Stride Rite could really use a door to stop small children from escaping.
5. Chase has extra wide feet that don’t fit in many shoes. I love those adorable fat feet.
6. 15-month-old Harlowe will cry and curl her toes every time we attempt to stuff her foot into a shoe.
7. My 6-year-old will try to convince me to buy a pair of shoes that most definitely don’t fit.
8. At some point, I will consider just giving up and leaving with no shoes. But then my husband will give me a look that says, “I’m absolutely never doing this again,” and I will press on.
9. At some critical decision point, my 4-year-old will desperately need a bathroom. Because we’ve sapped every last morsel of energy from our sales person, she will let us use the employees bathroom. The kids will get to see the backroom with hundreds of boxes of shoes. This will be the coolest thing ever.
10. When the store sign says, “Buy one, get the second half price,” it does not mean cocktails.
11. I know because I asked.
12. I’m pretty sure our sales person went out for a drink as soon as we left.
13. After getting home with all the new shoes, we will realize that we never had the kids try any of them on with socks. EVEN THOUGH WE ACTUALLY BOUGHT SOCKS AT THE STORE.
14. We vow to make the shoes fit one way or another. We aren’t going back to the store.