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There is so much to wear while you are pregnant. And so little afterward. I’ve long thought there should be a postpartum t-shirt line so people get a heads up that you just had a baby. Because a woman who has recently given birth looks pretty much like a woman who is 4 or 5 months pregnant.

My father-in-law still vividly remembers asking a family friend when she was due. Yeah, the baby was already home from the hospital.  It’s hard to politely recover from a conversation like that. You pretty much shout congratulations, get the hell out of there and send a very expensive baby gift.

So to avoid these types of situations, here is my new postpartum t-shirt line. The line is called, If You Ask Me If I’m Pregnant, I Will Probably Kill You.

Postpartum clothes t-shirt 1

“No, I’m not pregnant.”

postpartum t-shirt 2

“Don’t even think of asking me when I’m due.”

postpartum t-shirt 3

“Just because I’m still wearing maternity pants doesn’t mean I’m still pregnant.”

postpartum t-shirt 4

“I already had the baby. Why else would I look this tired?!”

postpartum t-shirt 6

“The baby is at home. This belly brought to you by chocolate croissants.”

See? Problem solved! And so much easier than carrying your baby everywhere you go.

mama bird notes:

Do you family meetings work? I give it a try. Find out what happened on Alpha Mom.

8 Responses to the postpartum wardrobe: what to wear after the baby

  • Steph says:

    Could you design one saying: “No, I’m not pregnant and my last baby is 9 years (not months) old.” UGH

  • karen says:

    I have a design to add to the line. An arrow pointing to the belly – instead of “baby inside” it would say, “baby at home…..baby fat inside”. Also, “got wine?”

  • Jill Sherman says:

    Love the concept! I think you have something here! I’ll invest! Kelcey, I had a dream last night that I was you…the mom of your five kids! All I can say is I don’t know how you do it and I woke up exhausted!

  • Princess Judy says:

    I’m in! I’ve never had a baby or been pregnant but have been asked when I’m due. “Nope, just gut.” The worst was when I ruptured my Achilles tendon, had surgery, and missed work for 6 weeks. Everyone asked me how the baby was! It confused me at first, I mean I know I whined a lot staying at home with no A/C and a cast but I didn’t think I was that big of a baby about it…… ..oh!

  • Meghan says:

    My husband once asked my good friend if she was hiding a puppy in her belly a mere five days after she gave birth. She cried/laughed. I could have killed him.

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kelcey kintner