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1. Plethora of tattoo parlors:

Me: “I would totally get a tattoo. Mostly because I think it will make me look more like Angelina Jolie. You?”

Rick: “I’m not sure I would.”

Me: “Because you’re Jewish?”

Rick: “No.”

Me: “Because you’re a pu$$y?”

Rick: “No.”

Me: “Then why not?”

Rick: “Not sure I could come up with something significant enough.”

Me: “As if, ‘My Wife Hearts Justin Bieber’ isn’t significant enough.

2. Opportunities to brush up on your pole dancing:

3. Hotel bars with beds and pools:

(Lice, bed bugs and a cocktail!)

4. Most popular breakfast menu item is “Chicken & Waffles.”

As described on the menu… “Buttermilk marinated fried chicken over a fresh cooked waffle, served with whipped butter and maple syrup.”

5. This is what people drink at 10 am:

Yes, those are two Coronas. In his fishbowl size drink.

17 Responses to the five absolute coolest things about leaving your kids and going to south beach. pole dancing is obviously one of them.

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kelcey kintner