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So the other day I was popping in and out of stores on the mad search for a new winter coat because mine mysteriously disappeared during our move.

If you see a moving guy sporting a black Juicy coat, be very suspicious.

I didn’t have Dylan and Summer with me so I knew I had to take advantage of this opportunity. Because obviously, it’s a whole lot easier to just pick up and move to warmer climate than try to buy a winter coat with children in tow.

So I was all geared up for my speed shopping expedition but I seriously underestimated the challenge of overzealous sales clerks.

Like at one store, there was this sales girl who must be very lonely or very misguided on the best way to secure a commission because she could not stop talking to me. Let’s call her Harmony. Mostly because that was actually her name.

So Harmony gives me a big welcome to the store. I say hi (because that’s what civilized people do even if they don’t feel like it) and then I take a quick left into the sweater section to avoid any further conversation.Β  But whom do I run into there? Oh, Harmony again.

She wants to show me their fall collection. I politely smile.

And then she wants to know if I have any questions.

Yes Harmony, I have a plethora of questions. Is Harmony your real name? Or just your stage name? Why does Ashlee Simpson only have one expression in every scene on “Melrose Place?” Why is the super hilarious Michael Kors never on “Project Runway” anymore? When will Summer stop asking me for a purple bed, a purple room, a purple car and a purple house? And most pertinent at this very moment, why are you following me around the store?

But I have no time to ask her any of this because I have 28 minutes to try to find a winter coat.

So I leave. In search of stores with far less sales help.

I finally did find a coat. Which I was very excited about until I brought it home. And then realized I didn’t quite like how it fit me. Or the color. Or the style. So I’m returning it.

Maybe I could have used, what is it called again? Oh right. Sales help.

mama bird notes:

A thank you to the always fabulous Storked! (The Daily Single Mom Blog on Glamour) and the always entertaining Strollerderby on Babble for linking to my How I Got Dumped By My Babysitter post. There are a lot of opinions out there on whether a babysitter should have to clean poop out of a kid’s potty. Despite being told I’m “uptight” and I really need to “loosen up,” I’m sticking to my belief that no poop should be left behind in a potty.

24 Responses to shopping in harmony

  • SoMi's Nilsa says:

    If you want sales people to leave you alone, bring your kids. I think kids usually scare the sales staff.

    Also, why is it that I’m supremely offended when NO ONE asks if I need any help, but am equally as pissed when they offer too much help? WAAAAHHHHHH!

  • Daphne says:

    Be careful what you wish for…my girl went straight from asking to purple to wanting to paint her room black last year. Goth 5 year olds are all the rage.

  • christy says:

    I try so hard to ignore salespeople but it’s hard, isn’t it. I still think you’re right on the poop in the potty issue. Can’t believe people disagree, really!

  • ErinB says:

    the worst is when you refuse and refuse and refuse help..and then you have to ask them to check in the back for another size or color.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    If you don’t want any sales clerks following you around the store; come to Marin County, Calif. Not one sales person on the entire floor of the new Kohl’s they opened up here; and all the customers were walking out. No one here wants to work for low wages; so the only help they can find doesn’t speak English or will steal more than they will sell. I shop at Garage Sales now…better service; cheaper prices.

  • So annoying in clothing stores. I don’t need your help, I don’t need a size, I just want to wallow in the dressing room looking at my enormous ass alone! Though i find I can never get any freakin’ help when I need it say at Home Depot or Best Buy. Ok, this is sexist, but I’m a woman, I don’t need help with clothes, but I sure as hell could use some guidance on a flat screen. Can ya help a sister out? Just found your site, love it. Will check back soon.

  • LT says:

    You did write about Michael Kors today! If you see Harmony again you can now tell the answer to that question. If she lets you know about Ashlee Simpson please share. Great post! Miss you – XOXO!

  • Tori says:

    I hate when sales people do that. It makes me in such a bad mood. I give them a dirty look while saying “NoThanks” and then they know better not to bug me. If I wanted your help, I’d ask. Great Post! πŸ™‚

  • Heather says:

    I actually got sucked in by a website that sold Shelli Segal coats at some percent off…in QVC manner! There was like an hour left before you could “buy”, so I left the screen open on my computer and submitted all my payment info thinking this is GREAT! Now I don’t have to find the time to shop for one. We’ll see if it works out when and if it ever arrives!

  • Sarabeth says:

    In defense of sales people, she most likely had a manager down her throat if she isn’t helping that much. The pressure in retail is super high right now because of low sales. I know, because I have been under that kind of pressure before. I’m glad she has a job.( But yes, I know, it IS annoying!)

  • Kim says:

    Ashlee Simpson ..bahahahah.. I have no idea how that girl is an actress.. though her hair color is great.. πŸ™‚

    And I use my invisible cap going into stores that have lurking sales people.. if I don’t make direct eye contact I can’t see you! πŸ˜‰

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kelcey kintner