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I can still remember the moment I fell hard for VH1’s reality rocker dating show, “Rock of Love,” starring Poison frontman Bret Michaels. I somehow missed season 1 and 2, pretty much the same way I failed to embrace skinny jeans for the first couple years they were around.

But then one fateful evening, I caught an episode of season 3.  One of the contestants, a very wasted Kelsey (us sharing the same name is just a flattering coincidence) yelled out, “I can’t be the first girl to ever get drunk and lay on a speed bump.”

Apparently, Bret couldn’t handle a chick who spooned with speed bumps while intoxicated so Kelsey’s tour ended right there.

But this Kelcey stayed on for the rest of the ride.

In last night’s finale, Moody Mindy lost out to the Penthouse Pet Taya. I was personally rooting for Mindy. Mindy proved to be a terrible singer in one of the challenges and given that my 4 year-old can carry a tune better than I can, I felt a special kinship.  Or maybe I was just somehow brainwashed by her deep Southern drawl.

“Rock of Love” is a trifecta addiction:
1. Fascination with the number of ways cleavage can be displayed.
2. Amazement by how many open mouth kisses Bret can deliver in one episode.
3. Deep pondering over what’s under Bret’s bandana.

Does the guy have hair underneath there?


Can anyone find a photo of him (without a bandana or cowboy hat) in the last 5 years? Link to it and maybe I’ll call you up and sing “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” You just won’t find this offer on other blogs.

43 Responses to rock of love: it’s not love, it’s an obsession

  • Angie says:

    You’re the only other person (besides my husband and me) who has openly admitted to watching that show. Between Friday Night Lights, Gosssip Girl… and now this… you have awesome taste. Either that or we’re all cheese balls.

  • feener says:

    i believe the only reason i have NOT been watching is b/c we switch from comcast to verizon and i don’t know the vh1 channel number by heart. otherwise i would be there. however i did fall VERY HARD tonight for yet another road rules / real world challenge. hubby told me i needed some serious help b/c i couldn’t even nod to him. i was transfixed. 

  • Katie says:

    Oh, hon. It’s too bad we live on opposite coasts because we have the exact same taste in terrible reality shows and teeny bopper soap operas (totally with you on the Nate-Blair thing.).
    Did you see Donna is coming back to 90210? I have a whole blog post in my head about it, I am so excited.
    Season 1 of Rock of Love is the best of the 3. Really.

  • Kirsten says:

    I’m scared of what’s under Brett’s bandana.  I have to watch that show when my husband is out of town.  He can’t stand it.  I don’t understand why he isn’t distracted by all the cleavage.

  • Marisa says:

    Ha!  Season 1 sucked me in and it was all over from there… Although, I did miss most of Season 3 last night between baby feedings I caught the last episode where he choose the Penthouse playmate (um, yeah,  that’s gonna last). 
    P.S.  Just like Kirsten  – I’m terrified of what one would find under Bret’s bandanna.  A ninja perhaps or a flying monkey – it’s a toss up.

  • Abby Siegel says:

    My sources tell me he’s balding and wears what is obviously a shitty weave. Seriously. You, my friend Jen in LA, and my trainer need to hang out. The three of you keep begging me to watch this show, but it is really more important to me to make sure I am up to date with the Kardashians and figure out a way to kill Speidi.

  • Jennifer H says:

    It’s on you and a few other blogging friends that I spent two hours last night watching the final two episodes.  And now I’m hooked. Except a little too late.

    I was rooting for Mandy, too.

    Seriously, I would not want to kiss him. Ever.

  • Katie says:

    Oh, my gosh. LOVE IT. It’s like a train wreck…you really, really want to avert your eyes from all the cleavage, trashy two-toned hair, and lingerie worn as clothing, but it’s so impossibly fascinating that you HAVE to watch. And it makes me feel good about myself, because I know that no matter how low I feel I’ve sunk in life, at least I’m not half naked and throwing myself at a washed-up rockstar who wears extensions on national TV.

  • stoneskin says:

    Under that bandana is another head with a bandana.  And inside that head is another head.  It’s like those Russian Doll things, it just goes on and on.

  • Kathy says:

    Too funny we only get BBC and MTV here in Germany (english channels that is ) and they play VH1 shows. We get sucked in to Rock of Love everytime, they are a bit behind we are viewing season 2 . I love it where do they find these women!

  • Portia says:

    Mmmmm mmmm  He can get it!  It’s proven….he’s EXCELLENT in bed.  But the headband might just stop me….he needs to embrace his baldness…and he is clearly not, by hanging onto his hair for dear life.  Bret honey….you’re foolin’ no one. 

  • Okay, I’ll admit it…. I watch, too. I can’t help it. I’m nauseous and fascinated at the same time. 

    Those girls! Where are their mothers!?

    Are they for real?!

    God help us when they’re in their 40s, can you imagine?

  • wa says:

    Oh, Taya. You Penthouse Pet with the heart of gold. Please break Bret’s heart ASAP so we can have a ROL season #4.

    And I’m guessing that what’s under his bandana is a huge topical dose of penicillin.

  • Kim says:

    High five to watching really really bad TV and loving it..I was rooting for Mindy and her accent.. because this LI girl loves a great accent.

  • Chris says:

    I watch it every once in a while, but I’m not hooked.  I’m fascinated by the fact he’s a type 1 diabetic.  I wish we would see more of what he has to do to keep his blood sugar in range, and how they handle it when he drinks too much.

  • Suzie says:

    Thanks for the link, Becky! I can’t believe he actually looks WORSE without the bandana! My husband watches this show–I peek every now and then, but reality TV irritates me ever since I realized it’s not “real”. 🙁

  • Caren Solomon Bharwani says:

    My husband and I have not missed a single episode, ever….matter of fact we watch all of the “of love” shows obsessively and are not one bit embarrassed to say that we are anxiously awaiting the season premier of “Daisy of Love” next week.  Wow, I feel like I should delete this post….

  • Diana says:

    Oh Caren, you are not the only one excited about “Daisy of Love!”  I love the nut jobs!  It was sad when Frank the Entertainer got voted off of “I Love Money 2!”  And I can’t get enough of “Tough Love’!  Stasha, we hardly knew ye…
    WHOA!!!!  I watch WAY too much VH1!!! 

  • mackbeth says:

    So funny and gross – you can lose hours watching it!  So he can’t find love…if he does he no longer has a paycheck and they won’t want him!  Unbelievable that we are all watching!!

  • Terra says:

    I will sing it with you – I do personally think he is still pretty hot but I doubt it would last if he took the do rag off!  How do you spell that do anyway?  I watched the show a bit – not reg. though.  SHould have!  Not a lot of TV watching time here and I waste it on things like the new 90210. 

  • tracey says:

    I have resisted that show. I honestly don’t know if I could look myself in the eye in the mirror if I watched Rock of Love AND Toddlers in Tiaras…

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Under the bandana is a swastika.  He was one of  Manson’s followers when he was a younger dirty hippie.

  • Shani says:

    I’m dying to see the hairline!!  And the speed bump quote would have stopped me in my tracks, too.  I haven’t seen the show, though!

  • Lanie says:

    I have never seen the show – and have to admit I have not heard of it. . .Did you find the photo without a bandana or cowboy hat?  Great post!

  • Bocaw says:

    Does anyone know where Bret was in 1980. We are in PA and my sister said she met a guy with his name and description who used to call her and play his guitar for her. Said he wanted to start a band.

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kelcey kintner