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I finally gave up this week. It happened at 8:23 am on Thursday morning.

I had vowed to wear my light weight short white coat for as long as possible. (By the way, white coats are as dumb as white couches.) As long as I’m wearing that coat, it’s not really winter. I mean, how can it be winter if I’m wearing my lovely autumn jacket?

When I was a TV reporter, I used to work with this cameraman who would wear shorts practically all winter long.  It was pretty impressive because we would spend most of our day outside. We were usually knocking on people’s doors until they invited us in for some hot cider.  You know that might not be quite right.  I think they actually answered and then slammed the door in our faces. People who allegedly commit crimes are enormously cranky.

It had to be a raging blizzard before that cameraman threw on a pair of jeans. I personally stop wearing shorts in mid-September but I just refuse to pull out any serious winter wear until I’m freezing to death.

But 20 degrees was kicking my ass this week. So yesterday, I begrudgingly dragged out my Long Black Winter Sucks Puffer Coat or as I call it for short, LBWSPC.

Of course, I immediately downward spiraled into a LBWSPC depression and had to book a week in Florida.  It’s not just about the coat. We also wanted to see Rick’s grandmother and sharpen our  Zumba skills.

We are pulling our first grader out of school for four days to go down there so if she bombs her SATs someday, we’ll be able to pinpoint the beginning of her downfall. But heck, once she finally gets into a party school, she’ll ace class like, “The Physics of Palm Trees” and “Nutrition: The Benefits of Eating at 4:30 p.m.”

Although I have lost the battle with LBWSPC, I can still say with confidence that I have yet to own a pair of waterproof snow boots. Despite living in the Northeast for roughly a million years. So this means that we are guaranteed to have no snow this winter or I will once again have very wet cold feet. I’ll keep you posted.

21 Responses to is it winter? it seems like it might be winter.

  • Marinka says:

    If you want to guarantee no snow, you should buy an expensive pair of snow boots. It works like a charm.

    The time I bought a pricey rain coat, NYC issued drought warnings.

    • Kara says:

      Couldn’t agree more. I finally broke down and bought snow boots after being the fool standing in 2 feet of snow in hiking boots. I expect it to never snow again. That’s the kinda relationship mother nature and I have.

  • Mo says:

    As someone who wore shorts last night at footy and ACTUALLY froze to death (fortunately in purgatory they have internet terminals) I have say that the mid-september rule is something that I wished I had known about.

    Why the hell didn’t you tell me about it?

    The other way to prevent snow (Marinka) is to buy a snow shovel in November. The UK so far has me to thank.

  • Loukia says:

    Oh I know exactly what you’re speaking of… Here we are dealing with minus 30 degrees Celsius… It’s brutal, and my Greek blood can’t take it. We go to south FLA every winter too, to save us from mass depression – SAD, I got it! Stupid winter…

  • red pen mama says:

    It was so cold here earlier this week that 50 degrees today felt lovely. So I’m in jeans, t-shirt, and hoodie. So I hope I don’t get stuck on the side of the road with a dead battery after sun down. I’ll succumb to hypothermia instantly.

  • Meg D says:

    Haha! I love the bit about classes she’ll ace at the party school. Meanwhile, they are calling for a high of 52 today so I say that’s still fall weather despite the 13 degree start we got Wednesday!

  • Issa says:

    It got to 60 here yesterday. Which is odd even by Colorado standards. My kids are praying for snow right now. Maybe if I go buy them the flip-flops that we saw at Old Navy (in Denver. In January) it will finally snow.

  • It was with weighted grief that I too retired my cute vintage cream faux-fur jacket yesterday, in exchange for the ugly, puffy, 56 foot long, bet you can’t tell if I’m a man or a woman under here winter parka.
    I feel the onset of a deep depression approaching…

  • MN Mama says:

    It is 46 degrees here and it is simply balmy! It feels like spring! I know it is generally 50 degrees colder in January so we are living it up. Hang in there! Enjoy your vacation.

  • Steph says:

    So sorry about the cold. Wish we could even it all out by your sending excess rain to Austin, and we could send our excess sunshine to you! p.s. Kelcey, please don’t read the parenthetical (Wendi, don’t tell her it was 72 today–that would be mean)

  • in the middle east, where I live now, the temperature NEVER gets below about 65 and that’s only at night in Dec/Jan. And yet local women, in some kind of weird status declaration wear winter clothes. I saw two women last night wearing–wait for it–bronze colored puffer jackets (matching!), jeans, and fur-trimmed ugg-type boot things. I was wearing a t-shirt and thin cotton pants. But maybe that’s the key: BECAUSE the women were wearing winter clothes, it will stay the land of perpetual summer here? hmm

  • HonestMum says:

    20 degrees? Darling, that IS summer in the UK! Your cameraman sounds like a lot of men and women I work with on set (I’m a director) but to their defence they’re usually shooting indoors under the hot lights. Could be a news thing?

  • LT says:

    At least you look good and you are warm in the LBWSPC.

    Have fun in Florida – good luck with zumba. I tried it a few weeks ago (it brought me back to college aerobics classes so I won’t be trying it again anytime soon. . . ). xoxo

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kelcey kintner