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Last night my husband turned to me and said, “Do you want to see the latest Apple product that I will soon want to buy?”

And by “soon,” my husband means, “immediately.”

“Is it an iHouse? Because unless Apple makes a 4 bedroom house, close to town with a nice backyard, I’m not really interested.” Did I mention that we are only renting and our lease is up soon and well, we could really use a place to live?

“It’s not a house. It’s the iPad. It’s amazing. Look at what it does.” And with that, I was forced to watch some British guy give me a tutorial on Apple’s latest hyped product with the stupidest name ever.

“Was the name iTampon already taken?” (And with that comment, I become the 1,800,457th woman to utter that joke on the very same day.) Clearly, Apple does not have a lot of women on its executive roster list. Oh wait, make that none.

Or maybe that was the Apple strategy. Create a lot of menstruation buzz in the hopes that women will run out and buy the iPad as part of their sanitary protection plan. Steve Jobs is a very smart guy. If anyone is going to sell new technology for private lady parts, it’s this guy.

But Rick could care less about the name, he is so jazzed up. Because somehow the iPad is going to fill the sad, empty gap in his life that his Mac desktop, iPhone and iPod have somehow been unable to fill.

“Honey, this is going to revolutionize how people get their news.”

“But I just like my home delivery of the New York Post. Why does everything have to be online?! Can’t I just read my newspaper and be left alone?”

I don’t even think my husband can hear me.

“This is an incredible. I can’t wait to get this.”

I just hope Apple starts building affordable houses in Westchester. So we can live in our iHouse with our iChildren and be iHappy.

mama bird notes:

This year Blogher ’10 is in a little neighborhood called New York City. Aunt Becky, Marinka, Wendi, and I (of The Mouthy Housewives and Mommy Wants Vodka) have put in for a Room of our Own on how to create a successful advice site. We’ll talk about how to handle every question out there from broken zippers to broken marriages with sensitivity and humor while making some cash too! It will be funny and entertaining and we might smuggle in vodka.

But we need your vote. PLEASE. I’ll give you a personal tour of New York City. I swear. Just click here, log on to Blogher and then click “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). Thank you!!

32 Responses to i live with an apple addict

kelcey kintner