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So last week I dived into the world of sex advertisements when I ran this on my site…


I was hesitant about running the ad so I turned to my trusty adviser on all things morally questionable. I didn’t have a problem with running a sex toys ad but I thought maybe I could see butt cheeks in that photo. And I don’t need some naked tush on my site ruining my angelic reputation.

However, my adviser assured me that if butt cheeks were visible, they were very small. I decided I could live with very small butt cheeks because I really like money.

Anyway, once the ad was up, I figured I’d get a bunch of comments about my new call to “ignite your passion.” But only one reader even mentioned it.

Maybe it was because of the Roman Polanski arrest or all the hub bub around David Letterman’s sex life but you all just seemed unphased but my little ole sex toys ad. By the way, usually I’m the first one in line to hear about a celebrity’s sex life but I don’t want to know one more thing about David Letterman’s late night romps. I just can’t think about him naked.

So once I got into a groove with my new ad, then suddenly the ad changes and a new one pops up that reads, “Buy a Sex Toy, Save a Child.” Apparently, the company is donating some of its proceeds to needy children which is totally commendable except that I found the ad completely offensive. So I took it down.

As a last effort, the company offered me this advertisement as a replacement..


But I just sort of soured on the whole thing. I don’t know. I thought the world of lotions, lubes and vibrators was somehow going to be more glamorous.

I guess it’s back to the ads for kids CDs and swaddle blankets. You can’t say I didn’t try to spice up your life. You’ll have to rely on David Letterman for that now.

22 Responses to i guess i don’t like money enough

  • Stoneskin says:

    You’re pretty much right. I am permanently distracted by Letterman, Peter Andre and Jordon, anyone who gets their face in Hello! or has anything more than nano-celebrity status…


  • Jeanne says:

    I have a friend who, along with her twenty-something daughter, runs a sex-toys-on-the-party-plan business. When I got laid off, I thought about going to work for them, then writing a book about my adventures. I planned to call it “Toy Stories” — till I remembered what an incredible prude I am.

    I think you drew the line at the correct location.

  • misty says:

    Here, Here- sick of the DL stuff too…
    Give it 5 years and you can likely profit big off of your memoir on how the sexual advertising business left you scarred… you’ll have to embellish a bit – but we’ll never tell.

  • Becky says:

    I did notice the ads but was too embarrassed to say anything. No that’s not true… I was going to ask how I could get hooked up with that!

    But yeah, good call on taking them down.

  • christy says:

    Oh my god I can’t believe they switched the image on you! And that last one is just too much. I feel bad for David Letterman, though I’m not really sure why…but anyway I think you made the right decision to take down that ad!

  • Daphne says:

    I didn’t even notice the ad–sorry. But I did have a friend hand me a sex toy after dinner at her house last week. That’s saying something, right?

  • Theta Mom says:

    Switching the image is a little sketchy and that last one? Mmmmm, it’s a bit much, don’t you think? The Letterman bit at the end made me laugh. πŸ™‚

  • Allison T. says:

    This is hilarious- I noticed this last week and was going to say something but felt like it was so off topic and I didn’t want to be known as the prude on your site. Maybe it would be different if it was hot guys? I mean, I’m not that excited about seeing some hot chick’s almost-butt cheeks or flat abs. But I could be swayed if it was Matthew McConaughey or someone like that… Since the company is so willing to swap out pictures, maybe they can do you a solid and give you the cute guy series.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    You’ll make money; run the ads or have ‘parties’. My friends called themselves ‘TOYS FOR TWATS’ and ran FUCKERWARE parties….it worked.

  • I didn’t even notice the ad! But then I have a reputation for being clueless about that kind of thing. I probably thought it was a romance novel at first glance (the butt cheeks in sheets I mean)

  • Lanie says:

    I need to pay better attention to the ads! I think I am focused in on ads halloween costumes and toddler beds right now so maybe if they were in costume on a toddler bed I would have noticed (or maybe not. . .).

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kelcey kintner