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I have dirty blonde hair.

That is not nearly blonde enough.

So since the beginning of time (college if you don’t count my high school Sun-In years), I’ve been highlighting it.

And when I get my hair highlighted, I don’t want it all natural and under the radar because what the hell is the point of throwing down all that cash to look like you never did anything in the first place. So I would make my colorist put in bright blonde and dark strips so I could look like this…

The colorist did not supply the cookie.

So for many years, that was the color of my hair. And of course, because I’m very committed to being blonde, I tried to only hang out with other blonds…

But once in a while, I tried to go back to my natural color but it usually ended in a lot of deep regret, crying and panicked calls to the hair salon. Like one time, I accidentally ended up as a dark brunette and attempted to wash out the color with an entire bottle of Tide.  Totally doesn’t work but I smelled like a lovely mountain breeze.

I always go back to blonde.

But then I had the twins. And my life turned into a crazy madhouse. So about a week ago, I decided to get rid of the bleachy blonde in the front of my hair and go natural. Easy breezy and less maintenance. Maybe it would make my green eyes pop. Except for one little snag….

There was no popping. I looked like crap.

I called my colorist within 12 minutes of leaving the salon. He pleaded with me to just try it for a couple days. He said I just had to get used to it.  I think by “get used to it” he meant, “torture myself by constantly looking in the mirror and loathing every strand.”

A few days later, I was back at the salon and he returned me to my rightful place in the world.

Thank you hair angels. I am blessed.

P.S. There is an amazon affiliate link in this ad because I know you are all clamoring to buy Sun-In again.

P.P.S. That weird blond guy is from The Box in NYC. I don’t know why I’m feeling his abs.

P.P.P.S. But while we are on the topic… nice abs!

mama bird notes:

And speaking of Mini Coopers (Oh wait, we weren’t talking about Mini Coopers?!), you want to win one? Dairy Queen was kind enough to sponsor this post (they must like me as a blonde too). They have a new competition and six lucky people are going to win a 2011 Mini Cooper Countryman (LOVE those cars). And all you have to do is a kind deed.

Just enter by submitting a video of yourself treating someone to a Mini Blizzard. Get it? Mini Blizzard = Mini Cooper. Man, I could have been an advertising genius.

Check out the video below for all the details. And thank you DQ for sponsoring this post!

30 Responses to confessions of a blonde addict

  • Jill says:

    You look great as a blonde… it’s definitely your hue!

    And a good stylist is worth is weight in gold. I thought mine was going to lose his mind when he gave me bright red stripes (per my request) only to be dyed back dark brown 2 weeks later…

    Now I have natural brown … with a hint of gray. Which clearly has no place on my head. So says my husband. I hope he enjoys all the money I spend keeping the carpets matching.

  • You practically quoted me in this. I hardly get my hair colored anymore, but when I did I was like “I’m paying good money for this! People are gonna know it’s not natural!” Being blonde was so fun, but I couldn’t hang with the upkeep. Glad you got your locks back! You look lovely either way.

  • Jessica says:

    I pay a lot of money every 3 months to get my hair colored so my husband has no idea what my natural color is.

    I do like the blonde hair better on you. I hope you don’t decide to cut your hair to match the ab man.

  • Megan says:

    True confession: though I believe you’re gorgeous and could rock any hair color, I’m totally digging the blonde! Way to “stick to your roots” girlfriend!

  • hokgardner says:

    You look wonderful.

    And I’ve always thought I meant to be a redhead. BUt I can’t bear to start the unending hair coloring process. So I remain a mousy dark blondish-brownish frump with gray highlights.

  • EW says:

    When I decided to go darker my husband said delicately, “It does make you look older.” Blonde it is! You look great either way but the blonde is a little more sassy (in a fun way)!

  • I have struggled with the same hair issues as well and I know we are not alone. It was starting to matter less and less but now grey is popping up and that is beginning to bother me, I think I will have to keep the blond highlights. The natural color did make your green eyes pop but you look fab either way.

  • Daphne says:

    You can’t even find an ugly pic of yourself gorgeous girl. Just one of you trying some freaky mind control with your eyes. At least blonds don’t show the gray like we do…no fair.

  • Rick says:

    Interfaith couple turn-ons: Shiksa wife eating a potato latka (as in the top photo). Wait, that’s a cookie? Are you sure?

  • annie says:

    see, now mine has gotten too blond and it’s pissing me off. my blue eyes have stopped popping and are now sort of rolling back. is that bad?

  • E says:

    Had been thinking of going more natural myself. Thanks for saving me the agony. (I’ve done it before and always hate it yet do it again a year later.) Nature does not always know what’s best and dirty blond just isn’t happening for either of us.

  • maura says:

    Ok, as a mom of twins… it isn’t just the blond streaks that makes us whole… it is the few blissful minutes of pampering… quiet pampering…during the highlights…

    WINNING – you managed to go back twice… I’m going to try this tactic… very smart.

  • I just ditched the blonde highlights, due less in part to maintenance and more to the time it took to get it done. I was in the salon for 4 hours. So now I’m back to auburn. I’m not sure it’s working for me. I think you need to have curly hair, super long legs, and make 20 million a movie to really own this hair color.

  • l says:

    Honsetly, you look better without those very yellow highlights so close to your face. You looked like an old lady with grey hair. A color that looks more natural is way better, if you ask me.

  • Sophie says:

    You look great as a blonde, although your eyes pop beautifully with any hair color. I got rid of my blonde with the first baby, but strongly contemplating a return to the blondilocks after the second (and last!) baby is born… Something about the blondeness is just addictive. Thanks for reinforcing my thoughts!! 🙂

  • karen says:

    I have gone through the SAME hair issue. See my wedding photos…blond. After each kid, I had the "wouldn't it be great to go natural"…but my natural hair color is dirty dishwater…..I wanted it to work – the green eyes to pop – instead I looked like a tired mom. Blondy is goody.

  • Jennifer says:

    My hair was blonde for a lot of years, and I loved it (and my colorist, who I still miss). Then I went back to my natural dark auburn (over my natural gray intruders), and I like it. BUT. I keep thinking I want to try the blonde again. And you're kind of giving me a push, you know, with all the gorgeous blondeness.

  • Used to give my dark brown hair blonde highlights by buying the blondest blonde I could find at Walgreens and just running my hands thru my hair w/the dye gloves on. Can you say TRAMPY? Now I have expensive hair, with lovely highlights, lowlighs, and a little semi-demi-whateverthefucki thrown on for good measure. Let’s face it: a good husband is nice, but good colorists? WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD.

  • Danielle says:

    Just wanted you to know how disturbed by the photo of that dude at The Box. I saw the photo when you first posted it and im still thinking about it. Why does he look so feminine and masculine at the same time?

  • Shannon Lewis says:

    Some of this made me chuckle. I’m 46…started with sun-in to real high lights in high school…died it dark blonde..basically brown…back to blond…egads!!!

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kelcey kintner