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I am a train wreck when I’m away from my kids.

When I’m caring for Dylan and Summer, everything (diapers, snacks, water, sunscreen, you get the idea) is way way organized.

But the moment I am on my own, I don’t just take my eye off the ball, I lose the ball all together. Usually in my hotel room. Probably never to be recovered.

In San Francisco, I lost my room key numerous times, misplaced my free drink tickets (oh, the tragedy! Seriously.) and even forgot the top of my steamer. Let me just say there is a darn good reason that clothing steamers come with two parts. You really need both. They’re tricky like that.

And despite my need for a clean and orderly home in New York, this was the state of my hotel room by the end of day three in San Francisco. Crap everywhere.

I guess my organized self was on vacation.

I was quite impressed with the BlogHer conference which was incredibly organized. There were super fun perks like swag bags and shindigs and I did meet and connect with some super cool gals like, Sticking to the Point, Mom Without a Map, Freitas Family Follies, Who’s the Boss?, Mommy Needs A Cocktail, Not Just A Working Mom, Mommy Poppins, Mayberry Mom, Magpie Musing, it’s my life, Baby Faith, Savvy Auntie and londonelicious.

And, of course, there were lots of fab mums who I wanted to meet but just never found.

I definitely felt enormously overwhelmed by all the people (like a thousand). And sometimes, surrounded by the blogging masses, I just felt lonely and homesick.

So after two days of trying to be extra perky and extra funny and extra myself (only perkier and funnier), I was greatly relieved on Saturday night to meet up with this chick.

That’s Sarah. I used to hang with her in the West Village before she got all fancy and west coast on me and moved to beautiful Marin County, just outside San Francisco (damn her!). And I found out that she is pregnant with number three which rocks. So send Sarah some positive energy for her little growing baby.

After dinner, she dropped me at the airport where I had managed to upgrade myself to a first class seat at a deeply discounted rate.

And that’s when I met Aaron. My seat mate with the gold chain.

I had barely sat down when he leaned over, all sultry and Barry Whitish and said, “Hi. I’m Aaron. How are you?”

Oh crap. This is my one chance to enjoy a little first class service and I’ve got Aaron giving me his airplane rap. Of course, if he was a young hottie, I would have been completely flattered… but he wasn’t.

A few minutes later, Aaron leaned in again (and I’m not joking even one little bit) and said, “I love that book.”

REALLY? I want to believe you Aaron. I mean, I really do. Except that I’m reading a book called, “I Feel Bad About My Neck” by Nora Ephron. It’s a humorous look at being a woman and growing older. But somehow I just really doubt Aaron, with the gold chain, is reading it.

But maybe he is concerned with his neck. I shouldn’t be so quick to judge. The guy is probably completely obsessed with neck.

Aaron thankfully nodded off quickly and I turned my focus back to my book and my neck. The neck apparently goes at the age of 43 so it’s really time to start appreciating it. I only have a few years left to show this baby off.

Yup, that’s my neck. In all its glory.

51 Responses to blogher is blogover

  • calikim says:

    Oh….its always nice to end a great weekend with a creepy dude on the plane. Hope you enjoyed one last cocktail in First Class on your way home. Next time you in in SF….Stay longer!!

  • SRG says:

    Eeewww! Nothing like being trapped next to a creepy guy on the plane. So glad he fell asleep, and that you had fun at BlogHer!

  • Bitsy says:

    Oh, I already feel bad about my neck and I’m only 40. When I read your column about plastic surgery, I was thinking to myself, “I just don’t think I could do any of that, well, except maybe my neck, I just can’t bear to lose my neck”. So now you’re telling me it’s only 3 more years!? I guess I had better start saving up. Glad you had a nice, disorganized trip.

  • kristen says:

    i’m really glad i met you – just wish i could have spent a little more time and also, wish you could have joined us at our local. maybe we can meet sometime in the city?

  • I always wondered about that book. With all the other anxiety-inducing body parts, why was she focused on her neck.

    And really, if your neck is saggy-unattractive, wouldn’t that just protect from vampires, anywa?

    Glad you survived BlogHer!

  • Pearl says:

    When I was 20, an older female coworker gave me this piece of advice when I decided to quit my job: “Always remember to cream your neck.” Sound advice if you ask me.

  • Rhea says:

    Oh, man, what a line. You should have quzzed him about the book. lol ICK

    You lack of organization is hilarious. I love the room picture and your list of lost things. You crack me up.

    The neck picture is fabulous! Love it.

  • Julie says:

    That picture made me miss Sarah and you so much. I am so happy for Sarah. She and Erik make gorgeous babies.

    We got the Lands’ End package from the giveaway and we love it. Thanks again, Kelcey.

    Your neck is gorgeous. I am in a panic.I don’t want my neck to go. I don’t have much time left.

  • holli says:

    you’re so organized – I can’t even compose myself to get a post ready yet. And how sexy is your neck?? I seriously doubt it will be dying anytime soon. I’m so glad I got to see you!!! I can’t wait for next time, but we will definitely have to make plans as soon as I move back to DC – it’s not that long a drive (or a fly, considering we do have Speedy).


  • Raz says:

    Seriously, great neck.

    I alphabetise my CDs, and when I go away after about 3 days you can’t see any carpet of my hotel room.

    I think maybe it’s just because I know it’s temporary!

  • Becky says:

    At first I was going to ask you to set me up with Aaron. Now I’m thinking “don’t you dare!”

    I’m also thinking HOT NECK HONEY! Damn!

  • misty says:

    i am going next year. I can’t take this reading of the blog posts… AGH!

    Creepy Aaron. What a phony. What does he do, I wonder, to sit in first class? hmmm.

  • Melisa says:

    I’m jealous…you neck is quite nice!

    Glad you made it back safe and sound and in one piece. How did you do in the flight? Piece of cake, right?

  • Milena says:

    And a good neck it is. Aaron sounded like a hoot. I would have had so much fun with him and the book thing. I’d have asked pertinent questions and put him in evidence. That would have zipped him up quick I bet. And honey, you are as perky and funny as they come. No need to try harder on that one. Charming is your middle name. Just let it flow. Pick up the clothes though. Don’t let those flow. Glad you are back and I’ll check out those bloggers you recommend as soon as I can.

  • Jennifer says:

    Your neck is gorgeous and I’m not even Aaron!

    And the room? Yeah. That’s my closet at home, too..the rest of the house looks fine but the closet reveals my true self? *sigh*

  • qt says:

    It was good to meet you – however briefly – on your way to visit friends. I echo kristen in saying I wish you could have come had a drink with us.

    Thank God Aaron fell asleep…

  • The really funny thing about this post is that I JUST took a photo cropped the exact same way (to show off a new necklace. The sad news is the photo showed an aging, wrinkly neck, so you are right; your time is limited! (And NO, I’m not going to use that wrinkly old neck photo!)

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    I play ‘Old McDonald Had a Farm’ with my great nieces. First I show them my turkey neck, then my cow udders and lastly my swine behind. A few more wrinkles, and I’ll show them my rhino skin…

  • amy says:

    It’s hard enough to take care of my face, now I gotta do my neck?
    I hope you had a blast at Blogher, looks like it was a lot of fun!

  • Lanie says:

    Glad that you had a good trip! if you ever get worried about your neck (which you really shouldn’t) remember you can always cover it up in Mardi Gras beads. πŸ™‚

  • LaskiGal says:

    I’m going to take a picture of my neck right now . . .

    and this, “So after two days of trying to be extra perky and extra funny and extra myself (only perkier and funnier)” made me laugh. So, so true (and I bet not just for you!!!).

  • Sus says:

    gotta love a guy who will so blatantly lie for a pick up. i feel sorry for him… and also charmed, somehow. then again, the gold chain may diminish the charm factor.

  • magpie says:

    I hate talking to people on airplanes. but i had the pleasure of sitting next to a young woman who needed TWO seats. i’d have rather had aaron (and first class!).

    so glad to have met you, all the way across the country.

  • My hotel rooms ALWAYS look like that. I figure if I’m on vaca (which I’m not- I’m usually traveling for work) that my organizing and homemaking responsibilities should be on vacation too. And I don’t even like the maid to come in and clean it. I like to wallow and relax in all my mess (just for like 2 days and then that gets old, fast)
    Great to see you at BlogHer, however brief!

  • Rhea says:

    Weird stuff going on with your website today. It was bizarre earlier without your usual graphics and had weird categories. Glad it’s fixed now.

  • merlotmom says:

    Okay, you have a great neck. I’m 46 and it don’t look like that, I tell ya. It was nice meeting you in SF. I’m jealous you’re living in NY, my hometown. But I do kinda like LA weather – it’s mo betta.

  • britt says:

    hahaha!! funny about the gold chain guy lying about the neck book. my husband gave his mom a mothers day card a few years back that he clearly didnt read as it was all about his mom’s influence on him growing into such a fabulous young women and whatnot.

  • Krista says:

    It was great meeting you at BlogHer. Thanks for adopting me at the Typepad party and letting me tag along to Ruby Blue. Sorry about your flight experience! Every time I get on a plane, I hope I’ll sit next to someone interesting and nice…but they always seem to put me next to the 8 year olds or the creepy old guys!

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kelcey kintner