Spice Up Your Inbox. Subscribe Today.

enter your email address:


I feel like alone time is in short supply these days. Here’s how I know. The other day I was trying to use the bathroom with 10 month-old Summer (hungry and whining) on my lap and Dylan jumping all around me, demanding that I join in for a rousing chorus of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It’s a lot of pressure to try to do my business in the W.C. while singing and consoling.

But it’s not just the bathroom – I’m even more greedy. I want actual alone time in my entire apartment. Let me clarify. My husband watching “The Office” while I sit two feet away engrossed in my email doesn’t count as alone time – not for either of us. But Rick doesn’t even seem to need it. He never has. This is a quote from him: “I don’t want alone time. When I’m not working, I just want to hang out with you and the girls.” Seriously? How is that possible? I’m here to tell you that although I can be very fun and fabulous, I’m definitely not that great. Really, I’m not.

As much as I adore Rick and love to spend time with him, I really need quiet, relaxing time just to myself. When I used to commute 2 1/2 hours a day, Rick thought my commuting time should count as my alone time. Umm… I don’t think so. Sitting in traffic and listening to 1010 WINS on that annoying, repetitive news-traffic-weather loop just didn’t do it for me.

What’s nice about being truly alone (or almost alone since the kids are technically sleeping in the other room) is that you don’t feel guilty for not talking to your spouse. We don’t have to discuss what to watch on television. I can decide. There is no pressure to pick out a new faucet online to replace the one that keeps periodically shooting off the spout, drenching the entire bathroom in water. There is no one there to see me spill chocolate sprinkles, yet again, on our couch. I can just spill. And I can just be. And after awhile, I can look forward to Rick coming home.

mama bird notes

One of the mama bird readers and I both stumbled upon a great product at the New York City Parent PLAY/ Bashed event this past weekend. It’s a company that makes incredible sweets – free of peanuts, tree nuts, eggs and milk. Find out more by clicking on “drooling over this” under the menu bar. While you’re drooling, check out the lip gloss for only one dollar. I don’t know how they make money but who cares.

3 Responses to alone but most definitely not lonely

  • Kerry says:

    can SO relate! alone time is sacred, always has been for me. there's something about it now that feels almost, ummm, forbidden and so that much more thrilling…!

  • Abby says:

    Kelc and Ker-I have debated whether to post about this entry but I am in a posting mood this morning. The grass is always greener. I have more alone tme than I know what to do with, but what I don't have is a gorgeous and loving husband and beautiful kids to boot. Sometimes it's very empty but other times I love it. I understand how you feel but sometimes us girls with all the alone time really want what you have too. Wouldn't it be great if we could have everything we ever wanted AND loved it??? I always hate when people say you can't have your cake and eat it too or whatever the expression is, but I think in little ways we can. I know you are grateful for what you have so if you want your hubbies to come hang out (as they are both my friends) I"ll take them for a few hours and you can get the mani/pedi I just got. 🙂

  • Kelcey says:

    you're absolutely right ab. We all need a balance of both… alone time and together time. But most of all, we need to have gratitude for what we have in the present moment. Oh no… I'm starting to sound like my mom.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

kelcey kintner