Despite the insane darkness and unbelievable quiet at night, I’ve actually felt very safe in the suburbs. That is – until the alarm guy showed up.

The guy was just creepy.

First of all, he never peed or had a glass of water in the entire 4 hours that he was at my house which just seems strange and unnatural. How can he properly install an alarm system when he’s clearly completely dehydrated?!

And he kept talking about all the different ways someone could break into a home, most of which had never occurred to me.

And then I realized that THIS guy could break in anywhere.

“So how do they make sure the people who work for the security companies aren’t criminals?” (You know, I was just making polite conversation.)

“You think I’m a criminal? It’s just the beard,” he responded.

Actually it’s because you’re SUPER creepy.

“No, no, not you! I just mean – in general. Because all you guys know everyone’s security codes, the easiest way to break in, that kind of thing,” I explain.

“We have thorough background checks. More extensive than the FBI,” he says.

Yeah, right.

“Oh, that’s great! Umm… I’m just wondering, how do I change my security code?” I ask.

The alarm guy did finally leave and that night I did not put on the alarm.

I was way too nervous to actually use it.

I thought I would accidentally set it off and wake the girls. And I’m far more afraid of awake children in the middle of the night than some dumb burglar.

mama bird notes:

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