I recently met a woman whose daughter will turn two in July.
And she’s pregnant.
They’re coming in May.
And I had to cover my mouth with imaginary duct tape to prevent myself from belting out, “You’ll have your hands full!”
She had a few questions for me like…
“I’ve been reading some books about multiples and they all insist I can easily nurse the twins in public! Is that true?”
“Hell to the no girlfriend. Maybe in the car. With a giant size nursing pillow. But do not attempt to sit your postpardum self on a park bench and nurse those twins simultaneously. Because you will either drop one or create a crowd of onlookers that would make Lady Ga Ga jealous.”
And then she asked…
“What kind of car do we need?”
“A mini cooper. Definitely the best option! Wait, did I say Mini Cooper? I meant minivan.”
“Everyone tells me it’s going to be horrible having newborn twins and a young toddler. Is it really that bad?”
In my head: “Oh yes, the first year is going to be rough. REALLY rough. The summer after my twins were born, I was so tired, I inadvertently locked my husband in the basement and he was so tired, he was introducing our son as Chad. I would have corrected him but who had the energy?
And I’m pretty sure my older girls were raising themselves. Which would explain the day they almost burned down the kitchen. But now my twins are 20 months-old and except for a little incident today where Chase unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper, sprinkled a bag of grapes throughout the house like confetti and then broke a glass snow globe in the bathtub, it’s smooth sailing!
Outloud: “It’s not bad at all! Sure, there will be a smidgeon of fatigue. And just a hair of guilt. And maybe just a bit of chaos. But no worries! Children are a wonderful blessing. Having one is just like three. You’ll be fabulous! Best of luck to you!!”
Sometimes it’s just better not to know what’s coming.