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The other day I was thinking… “My breasts are really exhausted. If only they could get a good night’s sleep.  But they just don’t have a decent pillow.”

And then a boob fairy must have come down to sprinkle me with magical lactation dust because right there in my inbox was an email promoting Intimia, “The first ever pillow designed for your breasts.”

And thank god there was a photo….

Like you, I was immediately taken by the design. I just adore how it looks like a sanitary pad strapped to your neck.

The Intimia PR pitch insists this pillow will actually reduce wrinkles on my chest while I sleep. I will totally sleep with this pillow on my face if it gets rid of some of my forehead lines.

The pillow is also, “The hottest new breast accessory on the market.”

I didn’t even really know that breasts had a lot of accessories other than that unfortunate nipple ring that Lila McGee convinced me was the secret to winning Tommy “I Love Bad Girls” Simpson’s heart.

I can not wait to put my breasts to sleep tonight.

Books, songs and then tuck them in with their favorite pillow (well, let’s be honest, it’s their only pillow).

And wake up smooth and wrinkle free.

My boobs never had it so good.

P.S. Hopefully, pillow pets for breasts coming soon!

P.P.S. Apparently, this pillow also helps relieve pain post heart surgery. So for anyone who has a real medical condition and utilizes this product, please accept my apologies.

P.P.P.S. I’m not the only one receiving fabulous pitches. Marinka and Mom 101 were lucky enough to hear about Replens for vaginal dryness (promised to be the perfect mother’s day gift for your mother!). I know. I’m now feeling sorry for the guys who read this blog.

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kelcey kintner