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I might as well tell you.

I went to this Starbucks Better Breakfast focus group thingy. I just felt in my heart they would give me a free coffee card. Sometimes you know these things deep in your caffeinated bones.

Before I headed over, I actually enjoyed a large latte from a small neighborhood coffee shop. One that doesn’t even offer breakfast. Believe me, I felt a great deal of shame.

But then I refocused my corporate energy and headed to Starbucks.

These Starbucks representatives were so nice (clearly, they missed this post) and generous with their healthier breakfast alternatives – like oatmeal (140 calories), apple bran muffin (330 calories) and a cherry fruit and nut bar (250 calories).

I must say my fave offering was a power protein plate (hard boiled egg, mini-bagel with peanut butter, fruit and cheese). Definitely something I would share with my kids.

Of course the power platter, plus a grande latte, plus a couple of those organic chocolate milks and well, you might have to apply for a second job as a barista just to cover the cost. But if you can swing the price tag, it’s a nice little breakfast.

And these Starbucks folks really listened to me and my riveting ideas for the future of their company… like recycle bins! String cheese! A kid’s play area! Ok, I didn’t mention the play area.

I wanted to but I got intimidated by the fancy foodies in attendance like Food Mayhem, Serious Eats and Cheap Healthy Good. Plus exercise smartie Fit Esteem. And I had already admitted to giving my kids candy to get them in the stroller. So really, I had said enough.

Turns out, I did get a free coffee card. $5 bucks. Seems a little stingy, but the company is floundering a bit.

After I brought Better Breakfasts to the world, I still felt a wave of corporate longing so I headed to Target in New Jersey.

I wanted to buy Dylan a bike for her 4th birthday. After wandering through so many aisles I thought I would have to send for a search and rescue party (next time I’ll bring more water and extra layers), I finally found the bicycles.

And here were the options for a girl Dylan’s size.

1. Barbie (A bike for you and your Barbie. Barbie actually has her own seat on the handlebars!)
2. Disney Princess (Beautiful princesses adorned the entire bike.)
3. Jewels and Pearls (Wait, aren’t pearls a kind of jewel? Not sure. Will research.)

That’s it.

Wait, that can’t be it.

Yup, that’s it.

Now I’m a very girly girl who isn’t usually bothered by the plethora of princesses and Barbies in our 21st century culture. But even I was sort of disgusted. My gosh, don’t they just sell normal bikes anymore? Like a nice yellow one with colorful tassels hanging from the handlebars?

After much internal debate, I just couldn’t. I left without a bike.Β  But I did purchase the plastic Hannah Montana musical microphone. At least Hannah is a girl who doesn’t sit around and wait around for some dumb prince. That gal went out and made something of herself.

29 Responses to you had me at 140 calories

  • Aimee says:

    HA! You made me laugh out loud with your bike issue! I hear ya though–how about the good ol days with the bananna seats?

    You go with your Starbucks group—regardless if you cheated on them by getting a latte from some where else—Whatever Starbucks offers up for free –you take! Recently the local paper was giving a deal at the mall (ironically right next to the Starbucks) with a sign up and get a free $10 gift card to Starbucks–I was ALL over that! It is hard to support my Starbucks habit on my Stay at home mom salary! πŸ™‚ plus I could cancel the paper any time I want!

  • HeatherK says:

    $5? Really? You wuz robbed! Years back I did a focus group for Hershey nuggets and got paid $75 or something and got to take a few bags home! My girls would flip for the HM microphone. We’re swimming in princess crap here, so I’ll bow out of the bike discussion! πŸ˜‰

  • Louis says:

    May I suggest an alternative to that symbol of American corporate greed and elitism ? Dunkin Donuts has a wicked new breakfast sandwich.. actually two. Their egg white flat bread sandiwichs are really great (i think the sign says about 300 calories). You may not be able to get your $10 triple shot mocha skimed half caf latte with non fat soy milk..but they will hook you up with a good ol’ cup of joe that would make Sarah Palin proud. Plus your kids will dig the jelly donuts a lot more than that protien power plate. Trust me.

  • Jessica says:

    LOL. Funny. Very Funny blog. Except Sarah Palin. She is not so funny. I can respectfully disagree though. Craving Starbucks terribly now. I want my Pumpkin Spice. Bummer Have to wait until tomorrow!

  • mayberry says:

    We got a Tigger bike for the 1st bike — but that was because we wanted it to be handed down to little brother.

    I kind of like those Berry Stella dealies Sbux has now, I’ll confess.

  • Robin says:

    Regular bike shops – your best bet for a regular girls bike sans barbie. This is a pet peave of mine. There are options for pink tassley bikes but trust me – they’re a LOT nicer and higher quality.I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into to Toys R Us, stared at some Barbie thing, or BRAT thing, or ugly baby doll thing, and just turned around and walked out saying to myself, “I just can’t do it. I can’t. Why do I keep coming here??”

  • MN Mama says:

    Since I avoid the princesses like the plague, I would suggest a bike shop. They don’t carry the princess bikes. Happy Anniversary and Happy Birthday Dylan!

  • Becky says:

    That is terrible about the bikes!

    Let’s make a new business. A bike shop that sells cute, primary colored bikes and also sells coffee with a play area!
    We could call it Hot Brew Bikes!

    I’m so on to something here…

  • jen says:

    as a stay at home mom of 5 (ages 9,7,7,6 & 2) and starting a new business (btw, we met you at a celebrity gifting suite in May), I love the string cheese suggestion but I wish you would have mentioned the play area! my husband jokingly asked the kids one day if “mommy spends all our money at Starbucks?” I whispered to him that he was lucky mommy didn’t spend all our money on crack! lol Thanks for your blog – it keeps me smiling!

  • elizabeth says:

    We are in the same bike quandry for our girls. Please let me know if you find a solution! And I accidentally went to a Target Greatland in Jersey. These stores are definitely a ring of hell, right? It took me a half hour just to find the trash cans and by the time I left I was starving and having a panic attack. Thanks for your hard work improving breakfast–and for making us laugh!

  • Portia says:

    You should have told Starbucks that the worse mistake they made was getting rid of the breakfast wraps and sandwiches. They had this avocado egg and bacon wrap that was to die for! They said they were phasing out breakfast sandwiches because the smell of the sandwiches took away from the coffee shop feel….I disagree. Anyway I wish I could have told you to tell them. Cool that you got to go to that though!

  • Melisa says:

    What did they say about the recycling? I always thought a good idea was to give a free tall drink to people that brought in a certain amount of their cups back. Of course, they would need to make some sort of card to punch, as I imagine people would start gathering starbucks cups from the trash for a free drink, but it was a thought.

    My sister’s are 12 and just got some cool bikes last year from Target…maybe it was the area? Their bikes are cool gray and pink and sporty!

  • Daphne says:

    I was so proud Acadia left her pink princessy bike in the dust in favor of the hand-me-down black one with lightening stripes…that was before she confessed that all she really wanted for her bday was a barbie doll. Who is this child?

  • Jennifer H says:

    It’s sad about the bikes, really. What about girls who aren’t so girly? Where does that leave our tomboys?

    Starbucks oatmeal is good…but I was confused when they asked me if I wanted brown sugar OR raisins OR nuts. Um, all three? πŸ™‚

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Kelcey, get a Starbucks Visa card; everytime I charge something on it, I get 1% towards buying anything at Starbucks. My house insurance/car insurance…won’t take Discover Card. So, I use the Starbucks Visa and get $20 on it for my ‘fix’. When you apply for the card; you get $25 credit right away. Starbucks never sees any CASH from me…

  • Aunt Marcia says:

    Why is everyone so ‘down on Sarah Palin’? Could you ever find one candidate who stands for everything you do? Do you agree 100% with your husbands all the time; yet you married him and made him the father of your children (that’s a Major Job). She lives as she believes; she didn’t abort her last child, she didn’t drag her 17 year old unwed daughter off for an abortion. She’s dealing with her decisions and beliefs. Doesn’t mean you can’t do differently. Her best qualification is she’s a Vagina Owner. She can hire the best and brightest advisors/experts/mavens to help her make informed decisions if she gets that Federal Job. That’s what every CEO does; they can’t be expected to know Everything All the Time. And best of all, IT OPENS UP ONE MORE DOOR FOR ALL YOUR DAUGHTERS. That should be your over-riding decision when choosing who to vote for.

  • I am still trying to close my jaw….st-st-starbucks is my all time FAVORITE place to “hang”! Not only will I spend a fortune in their cafe but I will pay a babysitter so I can do it alone!!!

    I would LOVE to know HOW you got the opp to actually giveyour 2 cents!

    How cool!

    I am bowing to you Princess (who doesn’t sit around and wait for the Prince) of Coffee!!

  • myhouseof6 says:

    i just fell in love with aunt marcia and want her to be my aunt marcia. we could sit down and talk over our over priced starbucks and she could watch my children ride their target bikes in the cul-de-sac.
    i have been so well behaved and not had a hateful republican comment in days… just sitting and reading like a good girl.
    i do however feel sarah has a little more qualification than a vagina, i mean she has worked more than 143 days for one.
    but, i love you aunt marcia and
    please come over for coffee, my treat!!

  • Nap Warden says:

    Yeah, I am over here drowning in Princess crapola. I’m tellin’ ya, slap a Princess on it and Miss Peach is in!
    “Mommy, I want a Cinderella tennis racket.” Really, on a tennis racket?!?

  • Jacquie says:

    I just babysat for a 3 year old girl. She watched Cinderella III. I was shocked at the first song, something like, “I’m a princess and a wife…this is my happy life dream” or something. I guess there are worse things, but come on. Having a 3 year old boy I had no idea how backwards these princesses were!! These preschool girls (including my nieces) just eat it up. yikes! Bikes – Kelcey, if the bike shop is still there at 6th Ave around 15th St., try that place!

  • Sally says:

    Hi Kelcey,
    It’s very funny that people “pity” you for driving something like 2.8 miles to check out bikes in NJ. After all, you walk probably half a block to find everything else you need. Heck if you choose to travel to an adjoining state that is one tunnel or bridge away, so be it.

    I love the classic red Radio Flyer bike at Toys R Us. My daughter who is now 12 also agrees that it is the grooviest but admits that when she was 4 she would have gone for a Princess.

    You rock.

  • MW says:

    Don’t write Barbie off as a dumb blonde waiting for her prince. She is a truly amazing woman, even apart from her unrealistic dimensions (but at least she actually looks human, unlike bratz who look like aliens).

    Barbie can be anything from a doctor to an astronaut, or a teacher to a journalist. She can dance ballet, coach soccer and then go home and bake a cake. She doesn’t wait around for Ken, he waits on her. And most importantly, she is kind and caring and has a positive attitude. (Again unlike bratz who seem to have a ‘don’t-hate-me-coz-I’m-gorgeous’ superior attitude.)

    Barbie for president!!

    (Oh, and she gets to wear the most fabulous clothes!)

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kelcey kintner