Well, you all really did make me smile. So thank you.
And yes, it was my birthday. As a surprise, my husband got a babysitter (imported from the city) and we went to see “The Hangover.”
It was a hilarious diversion (did that guy get a BJ in an elevator?!) and I love that Bradley Cooper.
And don’t think I jumped on the Bradley Cooper bandwagon when “Wedding Crashers” came along. I watched him when he was on “Bobby and Jack” back in 2005. Bobby and What? Old school WB, baby.
I’m happily married but sort of jealous that Jennifer Aniston maybe, possibly, could be dating Cooper.
I mean, who gives a crap about John Mayer. So he sings. Whatever. But Cooper? Way cuter.
Meanwhile, when I’m not resenting Jennifer Aniston, I am settling into suburban life. I just got my first Westchester pedicure in preparation for a Bar Mitzvah last weekend. I knew all those 13 year-old’s would totally be checking out my toenails and I would hate to let them down.
As I sat down for the pedicure, I couldn’t find a single magazine other than “More” (a magazine for women over 40). Being newly 39 (actually still 38 at the time of this pedicure), I cringed as I picked up this old fogey periodical.
And then I cringed a bit more because I was totally interested in practically every article. Like which celebs had work done. And another article about how not to seem old when you leave a phone message.
Apparently, if you’re old, you leave really long messages.
And if you want to seem young, you don’t leave a message at all or you just text.
Which I already do with my husband. Because every time I leave him a super long message with intricate details about my afternoon like how I was going to walk into town with the girls so I loaded them into the the stroller but then realized it had a flat tire. So I dragged our second stroller up from the basement and transferred all our stuff from the first stroller to the second stroller and then it started to rain. So I took all our things out of the second stroller, threw it all in the car, put the girls in their car seats and just drove there…. he doesn’t even LISTEN to the message.
He just calls back and says, “I saw you called. What’s up?”
“Did you listen to my message?”
“No. What did it say?”
“It was really long. With important stuff. Really important. I can’t possibly remember everything I said. I don’t know why I bother.”
So now I don’t. I just call and hang up if I get his voicemail.
Which means I’m totally young and cool.
At least according to some magazine for old people.
mama bird notes:
This week is your last chance to win a year’s worth of incredible Blue Bunny® ice cream. One mama bird reader will win a carton of ice cream (plus one pack of novelties from the Blue Bunny®menu) delivered to his or her door every month for a year. Free ice cream for a whole year!! How does life get better than that?
Just leave a comment and tell me whether a blue bunny is more likely to date A) Bradley Cooper, B) John Mayer, C) another Blue Bunny or D) None of the above because everyone knows that blue bunnies don’t date much.
Good luck ice cream lovers!!