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Aug
02
2013

Hey, it’s 3-year-old Chase again. I’m in time-out so I thought I’d do something productive. Plus, I can type while I whine and cry so it’s a win win. From what I understand, this kind of ability to multi-task is going to serve me really well.

The lesson to be learned here is that I’m not supposed to throw a truck in my sister Summer’s face. But in my defense, how awesome is it to see a truck fly. Into someone’s face.  Plus, I might have scratched my sister Harlowe’s cheek but I really needed that remote control and she was gripping it so tightly.

Meanwhile, I hate camp. I tell my mom every day. Between you and me, we do a bunch of cool stuff like art, cooking and gymnastics but I tell her we do nothing.  I learned this particular trick from my sisters. It’s so fun to see a parent grimace with frustration when you tell them you did NOTHING after they paid for hours of fun.

Each morning, before we leave for camp, my mother counts to make sure we are all in the car. Way to make us feel like a number mom. She has never forgotten any of us, so I guess she’s doing something right.

Baby Cash is hating his car seat right now and cries nonstop in the minivan. Because I love him so much and I sit right next to him, I stick my foot in his face to see if it helps him calm down. As to date – it hasn’t. Mom is very unsupportive of my experimental baby techniques. I hate when my creativity is stifled.

Did you hear we are moving to Florida? My hair is going to be a wreck down there. My mom is talking a lot about purging stuff. I don’t know what that means but some of my toys keep disappearing and I’m not happy about it.

HOW AM I STILL IN TIME-OUT?!! Hello? Anyone? I’m still in here! I’ve got to hire a lawyer. Where the hell is that woman?!

Wait, I think I hear something. Oh man, I am laughing my bum off because I just heard Dylan and Summer tell mommy that it’s superhero day at camp and we are supposed to leave in like 6 minutes. Now she’s in a panic trying to find costumes. Listen, I’ve got some advice for you lady. Read the camp emails. I’m going to yell something out to get her even more stressed.

“I WANT TO BE A SUPERHERO TOO. FIND MY CAPE. I WANT TO BE BATMAN!!! FIND MY BATMAN CAPE!!”

Best part – I don’t even have a batman costume.

Oh wait, I hear her coming!

Okay, I have to do some lame apology thing and then I’m off to camp. Don’t tell her I like it. See you Florida.

mama bird notes:

Did you miss the last guest post by Chase? Check it out here.

Also on Alpha Mom, find 10 Outside the Box, Clutter Free New Baby/ Mom gifts. Thank you to all my friends who helped me come up with these!

And on Lifetime Moms, I write about the NBA player who gets to cheat on his wife once a year. Yes, you heard that right. Can this work in a marriage?!

8 Responses to another guest post from my 3-year-old son


kelcey kintner



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