You know what is seriously missing in the suburbs?
Wild coyote? No, we got that covered.
A plethora of tennis skirts and yoga pants? Nope. Plenty of that.
Invitations to trunk shows featuring jewelry and home goods? Check. We’re all set.
What we are seriously missing are drive-thrus. Because there are many times when I need to fill a prescription, get a Starbucks, pick up some food or get a bikini wax but I have kids in the car. What? You’ve never heard of a drive-thru bikini wax?
Anyway, despite my desperation sometimes for a half caf grande soy latte, there is no way I can manage to get four kids in and out of the car. Even two seems a bit arduous. All that buckling. And unbuckling. It’s exhausting.
But are you allowed to leave kids in a car for a couple minutes? Not when it’s 110 degrees outside but on a normal day? When you can see your car? The whole time.
Like for example… let’s say Dylan and Summer wanted pizza on the way home from swimming class. And I decide to illegally park in front of the pizza place while I run in and get them two slices to go. Now let’s say I’m in the place for about 6 minutes and the entire time I can see the car which is about 10 feet from me and locked.
Now what if just as I come out – a police car is pulling up behind my illegally parked car. So I quickly hop into the driver seat and move my minivan but I’m already imagining the dreadful headline… “Mother Leaves Two Kids in Car: Child Services Takes Children, She Keeps Pizza.”
That would really suck. Especially because I don’t even like pizza.
Anyway, in this scenario, I hold my breath as the cop car follows me down the street and then it thankfully turns onto a side street. My panic subsides. I am free! If you consider freedom the same as having four children.
Now of course, I’m not saying any of this happened. Maybe to a friend. A friend name Marge who really wishes there were more drive-thrus in her community.
I don’t want to hear any of you mention that pizza can easily be delivered.
mama bird notes: