A woman came up to me at my local coffee shop (Doesn’t coffee shop sound folksy? Fine. It was a Starbucks) and she said, “Are those your twins? I have 14 month old twins.”
From that moment, I listened to everything she said. Because in my crazy world, she is an expert. She’s 8 months ahead of me and knows twin secrets. Or at least I suspect that she does.
She promised me things will get much easier when…
1. The twins start sitting up.
2. When they can hold a bottle.
Except I primarily nurse so that bottle thing is not going to help me unless they are holding my Corona Light for me so that my hands are free for the remote and The New York Post.
I was about to ask her some follow up questions when this twins’ expert abandoned me (or as she might refer to it, grabbed her coffee and went home).
Speaking of the twins, I started taking Chase and Harlowe to a weekly morning playgroup with other babies. It’s their first official activity. It was either that or a junior golf league. And honestly, I don’t feel like investing in baby golf clubs.
One of the moms from the playgroup works so she emailed me, saying that we should get together on a Saturday sometime.
Which sounded great.
Except this woman has one cute adorable baby boy.
Not a whole damn posse.
So I wrote back, “I’m around on Saturdays (my husband works) but you probably don’t want to get together with me because in addition to my twins, I have a 4 year-old and a 6 year-old.”
And she replied, “Wow, your hands are totally full!!!! :)”
That was it.
Which we all know means, “You’re right. I don’t want to get together with you.”
At least she added the smiley face.