I’ve been to the drugstore about 12 times in the last week. Which is just a few more than I usually go.
And this particular visit, I was waiting in line to pick up prescriptions. I was there with all four kids which once again propelled someone to say…
“Are they ALL yours?”
I like to answer…
“No. But they follow me around everywhere. I can’t shake them. It’s getting weird.”
After staring at my children in disbelief (as if I had 14, not 4), the woman says, “Good luck!” and walks away. I wonder if that’s her veiled attempt to offer to babysit.
Then I hear another woman in front of me give the clerk her last name…
BIEBER? DID SHE JUST SAY BIEBER?!!! HER LAST NAME IS BIEBER! NO WAY.
I really try to say nothing. I do. But I’m the the creator of the MomsForBieber.com website. (Well, future website. I bought the domain name but can’t figure out a damn thing to do with it except post hot cougar moms in wet Justin Bieber t-shirts which sounds offensive but imagine the number of hits!)
What’s my opener? Should I start humming “Baby?” Ask her if she’s picking up Usher’s prescriptions too?
I finally go with…
“Your last name is Bieber? Wow. People must comment on that all the time.” See how I did that? I managed to comment on the name by pointing out all the other people who comment, making me somehow slightly a cut above those people.
“Yes. ALL THE TIME,” she answers. “And I’m Canadian too. It drives me crazy. I had the name long before Justin Bieber.”
That did sound annoying.
“I just booked a trip,” she continues. “And the staff were tripping over themselves to accommodate me. Whatever you want, Mrs. Bieber. We’ll give you our best room, Mrs. Bieber. Complimentary services. I figured – if I have to live with this name, I’m just going to take advantage of it.”
Okay, that sounds a lot less annoying.
Then the fake Mrs. Bieber mentions that she even has a nephew named Justin. I wonder if lesbians look like him too.
And with that, she grabs her prescriptions and leaves. I never even had a chance to to recruit her for my MomsForBieber website.
mama bird notes:
I want to thank the amazing anymommy for choosing my post, “A Kinder, Gentler Marriage” as her post of the week. She is an incredibly beautiful writer (and beautiful too) and it is a great honor to be recognized by her.