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May
02
2011

I’ve been to the drugstore about 12 times in the last week. Which is just a few more than I usually go.

And this particular visit, I was waiting in line to pick up prescriptions. I was there with all four kids which once again propelled someone to say…

“Are they ALL yours?”

I like to answer…

“No. But they follow me around everywhere. I can’t shake them. It’s getting weird.”

After staring at my children in disbelief (as if I had 14, not 4), the woman says, “Good luck!” and walks away.  I wonder if that’s her veiled attempt to offer to babysit.

Then I hear another woman in front of me give the clerk her last name…

“Bieber.”

BIEBER? DID SHE JUST SAY BIEBER?!!! HER LAST NAME IS BIEBER! NO WAY.

I really try to say nothing. I do. But I’m the the creator of the MomsForBieber.com website. (Well, future website. I bought the domain name but can’t figure out a damn thing to do with it except post hot cougar moms in wet Justin Bieber t-shirts which sounds offensive but imagine the number of hits!)

What’s my opener?  Should I start humming “Baby?” Ask her if she’s picking up Usher’s prescriptions too?

I finally go with…

“Your last name is Bieber? Wow. People must comment on that all the time.” See how I did that? I managed to comment on the name by pointing out all the other people who comment, making me somehow slightly a cut above those people.

“Yes. ALL THE TIME,” she answers. “And I’m Canadian too. It drives me crazy. I had the name long before Justin Bieber.”

That did sound annoying.

“I just booked a trip,” she continues. “And the staff were tripping over themselves to accommodate me. Whatever you want, Mrs. Bieber. We’ll give you our best room, Mrs. Bieber. Complimentary services. I figured – if I have to live with this name, I’m just going to take advantage of it.”

Okay, that sounds a lot less annoying.

Then the fake Mrs. Bieber mentions that she even has a nephew named Justin. I wonder if lesbians look like him too.

And with that, she grabs her prescriptions and leaves. I never even had a chance to to recruit her for my MomsForBieber website.

mama bird notes:

I want to thank the amazing anymommy for choosing my post, “A Kinder, Gentler Marriage” as her post of the week. She is an incredibly beautiful writer (and beautiful too) and it is a great honor to be recognized by her.


18 Responses to will the real mrs. bieber please stand up

  • scrappysue says:

    hehe – i bet THAT particular justin bieber has found a way to live with his name too! as for having 4 kids, ud think no-one else had done it before! what about that woman that has 20 – and is still going!!! of course, she probably doesn’t get out much, so no=one says anything to her in the grocery/pharmacy line…

  • Stasha says:

    Since you appear to be a novelty with 4 children in NYC I wonder if people behind you in the queue were saying “She has 4 and is getting antibiotics. Must be MamaBird, I read last week kids were not well and she is a nanny down.”
    Are you sure you will be able to handle further celebrity status with the launch of MomsForBieber?

  • E says:

    These people who gawk at 4 kids might really want to venture out of Westchester every now and then. When I worked with my Utah clients they used to say, “You’re 33 and ONLY having your third child?” This was said with great pity and an implication that I must be having massive fertility problems because why else would a person skip the blessing of having a big family when you are young enough to enjoy them. It’s all relative. I would exploit the Bieber name for everything it’s worth if I had that name. The woman should work it harder.

  • Daphne says:

    At first I thought you were talking to me and my mother-in-law (she’s the real Mrs. Biener). I never realized that I am only one letter away from fame and fortune. Baby

  • Daphne says:

    At first I thought you were talking to me and my mother-in-law (she’s the real Mrs. Biener). I never realized that I am only one letter away from fame and fortune.

  • Beth says:

    “No. But they follow me around everywhere. I can’t shake them. It’s getting weird.”

    All I can say is hahahahahaha! As a mom of 4 as well, I totally get it. Hope you don’t mind my stealing your line from time to time! ;D

  • Issa says:

    I’d take advantage of it too. Ha.

    I think next time someone asks you if they are all yours you should say that. Then blog the results. 🙂

  • Tonya says:

    I think you should dress up the kids like street urchins from David Copperfield and have them follow you around saying things like “please, dear lady, can you spare a farthing?” At the very least they could make a few extra bucks?

  • Lotte B says:

    I think that you should try to go international with the momsforbieber-thing….just thinking…bieber means beaver in German, so try with momsforbieber.de – and see what happens…Maybe you will end up with a lot of beavers in Germany and then…I don’t know…


kelcey kintner


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