I’ve been receiving a bunch of holiday cards and as grateful as I am for the wishes of peace, love and joy – frankly, you’re all making me feel like crap. What’s with all the cuteness and perfection?!
Look at some of these photos. I have threatened to photocopy one or two of them and just send them out as my own.
I don’t think three of my kids have ever smiled at the same time. Never mind for a photo.
I mean, come on! I’m going to assume these are all child actors who are hired to do seasonal holiday work. They can’t be REAL kids.
(Of course I got permission do show these photos. And by “permission,” I mean, their lawyers will probably be contacting me very soon.)
I would show my own holiday photo but I left them in a box on my stoop so people could just drive by and pick one up but strangely most people haven’t yet. I guess they still want me to use that fancy postal service thing.
By the way – if you are sending out a really lame, sucky holiday card, please email a copy to me. It would really make my Christmas.
And now for my favorite holiday card this year….
And inside the message reads…
“Please have a fecal sample ready to test for intestinal parasites.”
Okay! I will get on that. Happy Holidays to you too!
Turns out, this card was intended for some cat named Yuki so I’m obviously relieved about that.