Because I’ve been wondering what Jerry Seinfeld has been doing for the past 12 years (other than figuring out where to park all his cars in Manhattan), I decided to check out “The Marriage Ref.”

Man – that debut show was hard to find with NBC sticking it in the middle of the Olympic closing ceremonies.  Nothing pays homage to the beauty of the Olympic spirit and nations coming together like a break to focus on a couple squabbling about stripper polls (more on that in a moment).

But in all fairness to NBC, the orchestrators of the closing ceremonies had started pulling out the inflatable beavers and moose so maybe it was time to cut away.

If you somehow missed the 637 promos for this new Seinfeld show, a marriage ref settles a dispute between a husband and a wife after a 3 person celebrity panel weighs in.

Panelists include relationship experts like Alec Baldwin (who has a contentious relationship with ex Kim Basinger and once famously called his daughter a rude little pig) and Madonna (who is twice divorced and fully embracing cougarville).  I’m sure they’ve both sought rigorous therapy and now know how to help other couples avoid similar pitfalls.

So far the marriage disputes are things that come up in every relationship like a husband who wants to keep his dead, stuffed dog as a shrine in the living room, a wife who regularly flosses in bed and a husband who wants to install a stripper poll in their bedroom.  I can still recall that fierce fight Rick and I had over what color to paint our stripper poll.  I still contend that a soft peach would have been just the right shade.

Did I mention that “Today Show” host Natalie Morales makes a sad appearance at some kind of news desk as the fact checker for the show? (I can only imagine the money was very good).  And even Marv Albert worms his way onto the program. I’ll be shocked if Lorena Bobbitt doesn’t make some kind of appearance very soon.

If you’re looking to save your marriage, this show ain’t going to do it. Frankly, I’d put more stock in The Mouthy Housewives to solve your problems.

But I did laugh out loud a number of times. And Alec Baldwin should be on every week because despite his personal failings, he is quite talented. But I’m not sure “The Marriage Ref” has a long shelf life. It just feels too staged and hokey.

But at least I know… the next time Rick and I have a dispute over a dead dog, we now have some guidance on how to reach a peaceful resolution. Thank god for TV.

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