Man, it is suddenly cold out. And dangerous.
Just today, I almost drove into oncoming traffic because my back got itchy from my super size, extra insulated parka and I was thrashing around trying to get the zipper down so I could reach the itch and at that point, I didn’t care what lane I was in – I JUST NEEDED TO SCRATCH MY BACK.
Winter is exhausting like that.
And I’m also currently suffering from O.M.G.W.A.I.G.T.D.W.T.K.O.A.T.W.V.
Otherwise known as, “Oh my God, what am I going to do with these kids over a two week vacation?”
The weather will be freezing. My husband will be working. And I will be panicking.
I remember when the word vacation held the promise of excitement and fun (Bain de Soleil! Pina Coladas! Men in speedos!). Now – just terrifying dread.
Sort of how a glass of wine used to be something you’d drink when out to dinner with friends. Now it’s something you drink at 4:30 pm. With a side of Pirate’s Booty and goldfish.
I started looking into these vacation camps at different play spaces in the area. I’m now convinced these play spaces are colluding to price gouge frazzled, desperate parents. Because they all charge EXACTLY the same thing. TOO. MUCH. MONEY. Yes, that’s an exact figure.
So here are my vacation options…
1. Be the victim of extortion and sign my older girls up for one of these vacation camps.
2. Take my girls daily to the dicier, less hygienic, cheapo play space in the area. Once the girls are sick from all the germs, feel totally justified in showing them movies every day for the remainder of the break.
3. Go to the mall where they have fun rides (escalators and elevators), face painting (do-it-yourself at Sephora) and a life size playhouse (Pottery Barn).
4. Hold up a Michael’s craft store and steal enough glitter and sequins for two weeks of art projects.
I don’t usually think armed robbery is the answer but this is the winter holiday break after all.
mama bird notes:
I just loved all your answers to our goat giveaway. I wish I could give each and every one of you an Oxfam goat. Momma Goose is our winner. Momma Goose – I can either drop off your goat at your house or you know, we can send it to a needy family. And everyone, please consider Oxfam for your holiday gifts this year. No wrapping needed.