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During this whole debt crisis, I heard a lot about the America’s credit rating hanging in the balance but very little about my sanity hanging in the balance.

While the Republicans and Democrats negotiated, Rick was working an overnight shift at his fancy TV network.

Which meant on Sunday, he slept all day while I attempted to care for our offspring.

This did not go particularly well and I’m pretty sure I was being held hostage. I was surrounded by baby gates and interrogated constantly by a steady stream of questions like…

What’s for lunch? Can we paint masks? I spilled the frog’s water  – can you clean it up? Can we watch TV? How about now? Where’s the camera? Did you charge it? How come you never charge it? Can I charge it? Can you wipe me? Can we make chocolate chip pancakes? I already took out the ingredients. Can I paint your nails? Why is Chase in the dryer? Can we have cookies? What about now?

Hold on… what f*cking frog?!

Then I tried to convince my older girls to play daycare center. I would drop the twins at their “daycare” and then go have a relaxing cup of coffee in the kitchen while they played with Chase and Harlowe. I was really high fiving myself for this little piece of brilliance. Except Dylan and Summer sold the daycare center and opened a nail salon instead. One without childcare.

At one point, a friend stopped by to drop off a kid’s play mat she no longer needed and I jumped at the chance for some adult interaction. I tried to bring up every topic possible to keep her in the house. But she had some kind of “family BBQ” which is ridiculous because what could be more important than saving your friend from a hostage situation?

Also – at this point, I’m pretty sure I was suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

I finally realized that I needed to strap down all these kids somewhere. Since putting them in the minivan, turning on the air conditioning and leaving them to relax in the driveway while I jetted back inside didn’t seem like high level parenting or maybe even legal parenting.  So, I did the next best thing.

I put them all in high chairs for lunch. Just so they would STOP moving.

Trust me when I say that it is not easy to get an almost 7-year-old into a high chair. And before you attempt it, keep in mind that this will not stop her from talking.

Rick finally woke up and the day got a WHOLE lot better.

“Thanks for keeping everyone so quiet while I slept.”

I had no idea what he was talking about because 4-year-old Summer’s decibel levels had reached epic heights.

But I just said…”Oh you’re welcome. I really wanted you to get some rest.”

mama bird notes:

Last night I had the chance to attend a super fab event with Marinka.  The Food Network debuted Entwine, a new wine collection created in partnership with the Wente Vineyards. I thought the wines were all delicious and not just because they were free (although that never hurts).

The whole idea is to create affordable wines that are easy to pair with your favorite dishes.  So why did the Food Network choose Wente Vineyards of California? I guess because this family business runs 3,000 acres of sustainably farmed vineyards and well, this is Karl Wente…

I told you. It’s good wine.

35 Responses to when the debt crisis gets personal

  • Julie McGuire says:

    Okay, you describe perfectly my life a few years ago, though I used to sit in the playpen with my glass of wine (of course, only if it was after 5:00!) to get some hands off time. It was hard to explain those days to my husband.

    Now my kids are teens and as I type this I’m huddled in my room still looking for peace and quiet as the downstairs are filled with their friends. While laughter is fun to listen to, I do miss school bedtimes.

    Great blog.

  • Holy cats. THAT man grows wine? Be still my beating…everything. Plus that, I was invited to that event but am not in town, which means that not only did I miss mr. handsome wine guy but a chance to meet you and Marinka in person. Of course if that had happened AFTER I’d been tasting the wine, I probably would have made an ass of myself falling all over the two of you and blathering about how much I like your work. So probably on balance it’s best I wasn’t there. I would’ve just embarrassed us all.
    (And kudoes on the “everyone in the high chair” game. GENIUS.)

  • Lisa F. says:

    We have the same scenario way back when my kids at their age.And it only happens during summer vacation…For now,i enjoy the peace and quiet moments while kids at school..nice post.

  • Angi says:

    I’m in the midst of packing up our entire household to move from Florida to New England and the “everyone in a high chair” seems like a brilliant way to keep my boys from climbing the mountains of boxes. Do I actually have to feed them?

  • Oh my gosh, I so remember those days. You brought them back in exquisite and funny detail. The question always was, is it easier to stay in or try to go out? When we would go out, I would then know it was easier to stay in but either way, I was losing my mind!

  • mackbeth says:

    Hilarious photo! The twins definitely realize that something is weird in their world.
    I am also plugging Crazy, Stupid, Love…have a date night if you can and go see it, Ryan Gosling is incredibly handsome and the movie is hil-ar-ious!

  • Dimity says:

    I’m an identical twin and have two younger siblings – My mom had us all within a 5-year time period…it was always fun (albeit chaotic!), but I don’t know how she did it! Kudos to you!

  • Jami says:

    I can tell from the picture that wine is superb! Love your blog. Too bad I sold my highchairs from the twins….great idea!

  • Heidi says:

    bwhahahaha – that picture of all of them in high chairs is fabulous. I just keep telling myself that one day I’ll miss all the questions and shorts-tugging and whining. I think. At least I have a reason to drink before it’s dark. 😉

    • dusty earth mother now that’s a wonderful idea i will put 7 year old miley rae down for a four hour nap in her crib, but first i will have to put a baby diaper on miley rae so she’s comfortable . Miley rae throughly enjoys sitting in her high chair at home i lift her up sit her down strap her in and miley has a whale of a time.

  • Natalia says:

    This is so insane ! I’ve reading your blog for a while and love it. The insanity part is that Karl, the men on the pic, is my husband’s cousin !! What a tiny little world 🙂

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Wente Vineyards is not far from my home in San Rafael and I notice Karl doesn’t have a wedding band on. I’m like a very fine wine; but much too aged for him. Any young readers want to go wine tasting at Wente’s….can spend a night in my home.

  • OHmommy says:

    Best picture ever! And oh my gosh, your Summer probably sounds a lot like my Lola. People stop me and ask “Is that her real voice? It’s so, so, so high.” Ha!

  • Beth says:

    “Will you wipe me?” gave me flashbacks and not in a good way! I thought I would doing that until college….thankfully, I was wrong.

  • Betsy says:

    Some random thoughts about today’s blog.
    1. You were worried about the frog, but not Chase in the dryer.
    2. I hope it is not too hard to get an almost 7 year old into the high chair. They will want to do it again.
    3. I kept waiting for a picture of Dylan walking while in the high chair. I bet if she tilted the right way, her feet woild touch.
    4. There is just no way to get a nap with an awake child in the house.

  • Jamie says:

    Hee hee. I love the daycare idea. Recently, I was a lake house with friends. I found a bunch of white rocks and my 5 year old throw them in the lake. Then he had to go find them.
    Most of the grown-ups commented on the Great Racket I had going. You do what works to get that cup of joe. Unfortunately, I already got rid of my high chair.
    You funny.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    If you google ‘Wente Vineyards’ and get into their web site; you’ll see lots of good old Karl….doing Yoga, and just being a winemaker. Have fun…

  • Jill says:

    Brilliant! I’m keeping our Ikea highchairs forever. We use them for travel and I already thought it was the best $50 I spent, now I find out I have five more years of good use out of them!

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kelcey kintner