During this whole debt crisis, I heard a lot about the America’s credit rating hanging in the balance but very little about my sanity hanging in the balance.
While the Republicans and Democrats negotiated, Rick was working an overnight shift at his fancy TV network.
Which meant on Sunday, he slept all day while I attempted to care for our offspring.
This did not go particularly well and I’m pretty sure I was being held hostage. I was surrounded by baby gates and interrogated constantly by a steady stream of questions like…
What’s for lunch? Can we paint masks? I spilled the frog’s water – can you clean it up? Can we watch TV? How about now? Where’s the camera? Did you charge it? How come you never charge it? Can I charge it? Can you wipe me? Can we make chocolate chip pancakes? I already took out the ingredients. Can I paint your nails? Why is Chase in the dryer? Can we have cookies? What about now?
Hold on… what f*cking frog?!
Then I tried to convince my older girls to play daycare center. I would drop the twins at their “daycare” and then go have a relaxing cup of coffee in the kitchen while they played with Chase and Harlowe. I was really high fiving myself for this little piece of brilliance. Except Dylan and Summer sold the daycare center and opened a nail salon instead. One without childcare.
At one point, a friend stopped by to drop off a kid’s play mat she no longer needed and I jumped at the chance for some adult interaction. I tried to bring up every topic possible to keep her in the house. But she had some kind of “family BBQ” which is ridiculous because what could be more important than saving your friend from a hostage situation?
Also – at this point, I’m pretty sure I was suffering from Stockholm syndrome.
I finally realized that I needed to strap down all these kids somewhere. Since putting them in the minivan, turning on the air conditioning and leaving them to relax in the driveway while I jetted back inside didn’t seem like high level parenting or maybe even legal parenting. So, I did the next best thing.
I put them all in high chairs for lunch. Just so they would STOP moving.
Trust me when I say that it is not easy to get an almost 7-year-old into a high chair. And before you attempt it, keep in mind that this will not stop her from talking.
Rick finally woke up and the day got a WHOLE lot better.
“Thanks for keeping everyone so quiet while I slept.”
I had no idea what he was talking about because 4-year-old Summer’s decibel levels had reached epic heights.
But I just said…”Oh you’re welcome. I really wanted you to get some rest.”
mama bird notes:
Last night I had the chance to attend a super fab event with Marinka. The Food Network debuted Entwine, a new wine collection created in partnership with the Wente Vineyards. I thought the wines were all delicious and not just because they were free (although that never hurts).
The whole idea is to create affordable wines that are easy to pair with your favorite dishes. So why did the Food Network choose Wente Vineyards of California? I guess because this family business runs 3,000 acres of sustainably farmed vineyards and well, this is Karl Wente…
I told you. It’s good wine.