When I was a kid in the 1970′s, water was not easily accessible.
For example, if you were in the car and told your mom you were thirsty, she’d do one of the following…
1. Tell you to use the water fountain when you reached your destination in only 346.7 miles.
2. Tell you to drink your own saliva.
3. Throw an open can of warm Tab at your head to get you to shut up.
These were thirsty times.
But then some brainiac came up with the idea of selling water in a bottle so all of a sudden, everyone had water! All the time! This seemed very good. But it wasn’t.
It has only created a bunch of water addicted children. The minute kids get in a car now, they have barely buckled their 17 point harness when they demand a snack, entertainment and some refreshing cold spring water.
I am pretty sure my 5-year-old thinks I have a KitchenAid Refrigerator with a water dispenser in our minivan passenger seat.
I get water addiction. I went through a dark h20 period where I attempted to consume 3 liters of Trinity water a day. Someone very earthy and spiritual advised me that this brand had magical minerals and staying fully hydrated (apparently defined as having to pee every 23 minutes) would put me on a path towards enlightenment. Which is sort of what happened except for the enlightenment part.
I was about to start carrying my own portable potty when I decided it was just best to stop drinking SO MUCH WATER.
I still carry a reusable water bottle but I’ve kicked my Trinity obsession.
And I have something to say to all the thirsty children of America sitting in the backs of cars everywhere. Just look out the window and be quiet.
You can get a drink when we get there.
Only 346.7 miles left.
P.S. I may have been spotted from time to time transporting four separate water bottles for my children on even the shortest of road trips but this can not be confirmed.