Even though we’ve moved back home, there are still a lot of workers going in and out of our house. The other day, I had to run a few errands and left my babysitter Diane at home with a kid or two. Or maybe three. Who can remember exactly.
As soon as I left, one of the workers, a portly fellow named Bernard, asked Diane if she’d like to go to Home Depot with him.
Someone needs to tell Bernard that this is not a great pick-up line.
My sitter explained that despite the allure of a romantic outing to buy brackets, she would not be accompanying him because she was actually working.
As soon as I got home Diane retold me this story and my first thought was, “I hope Diane didn’t feel uncomfortable. Maybe I shouldn’t have left her in the house with the workers.”
But then I forgot all about that and thought, “Hey, wait a minute… how come Bernard never hit on me?! I mean, I can understand Leo the cute but not-so-sharp painter not giving me a second look. But husky 30-something Bernard?! Surely, I am still cute enough to warrant a few flirtatious glances from him as he installs our smoke detectors?!”
I guess not. But I’m not twenty like Diane.
I’m uh… a little bit older than that.
Like a couple decades. I keep forgetting.
There is something about getting older that can make you feel a bit invisible.
When I was in my twenties, I used to meet this tutor Pedro every week at the local McDonalds to practice my Spanish while we dined on Chicken McNuggets.
It was a great situation until he started calling me at home and leaving messages like, “Kelcey, I love you. We should be together. I will leave my wife. Call me.”
Wow. He really liked me. But I didn’t want to break up a marriage. I just wanted to learn how to say, “When is the next train to Barcelona?”
I never called Pedro again. But it was flattering.
It’s just something you take for granted when you’re young and blissfully unaware that hair will actually grown from your chin and it’s possible to get eye wrinkles on one side of your face just from always sleeping on that side.
But luckily, I’ve traded my youth for all that sexy wisdom inside.
And thankfully, I’ve got a great husband who will take me to Home Depot anytime I ask. And I bet he’d even swing by McDonald’s for some nuggets on the way home.