Okay, I need a hat for Chase. Let me see what I can find here in the attic. I’m sure I have something in this baby clothes bin.
Another pink one.
That’s sort of red. Well, more like dark pink.
Yup. Pink too. What’s up with all the fu*cking pink?!
Oh yes! A tan hat someone gave me. Very boy. PERFECT.
Except it doesn’t fit. Damn. It’s not that you have a big head Chase. It’s just a little husky.
Okay. Keep looking. Oh crap. Someone is crying. “Dylan! Summer! Who’s crying? Be nice to each other. Someone say I’m sorry for whatever you did. Actually both of you say it. I don’t care what happened. JUST SAY IT. I’ll be right down!”
Yes! A white one. Totally neutral color. Completely appropriate for a boy or girl. And I think I can squeeze it on Chase’s head. Yup, I got it on. Yahoo! Let’s go for a walk everyone.
Oh no. Chase – why are you crying? Okay, the hat is a little girly. I’ll give you that. But you have three sisters. You gotta roll with it. No one will make fun of you. You’re a BABY. Everyone loves cute babies in hats!
Although I do see it’s not a perfect fit. In fact, it doesn’t seem to block the sun at all. But that’s why I put sunscreen on you honey! Just close your eyes and enjoy the ride.
Please stop crying.
Alright, let’s take the hat off. I’ll buy you a new one. One that’s not pink. For husky-headed babies.