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So this is my life… Post Blogher. Post Tim Gunn. Post dinners comprised solely of vodka and fried coconut shrimp appetizers.

I’ve definitely been thrust back into reality. This morning Summer and Dylan “mistook” lip gloss for hair gel and styled their hair with a crazy amount of strawberry gloss. How exactly does one wash that out?

And Summer, who is potty training, peed all over my high heels which she just happened to be wearing. I kept yelling, “STOP PEEING!” but that’s apparently code for, “Don’t forget to spray the inside of the shoes” to a 2 1/2 year-old.

You see back in Chicago, my roommate Amy never once peed on my shoes.

I miss hanging out with my blog ladies. Probably because I just moved to Westchester and I’m a little light in the friends department.

Every morning I go to the Starbucks with Summer and I sort of hope that some cute mom and her kids will come in and she’ll be just like Wendi or Jessica or Marinka or Andrea or Ann or one of those other cool chicks.Β  But so far – nothing. This morning there was this puffy middle aged guy eating a donut next to us but he was all, “I love my iPhone” and I was all “Donuts suck. I don’t need you to be my friend.”

I do have my gal pal Rihanna. She’s sort of a friend. If you think of a friend as a celebrity you’ll never meet (which I totally do).

According to my bible the New York Post, Rihanna and Chris Brown recently checked into the very same hotel on the very same night. Obviously, a ridiculous coincidence or a booty call.

Oh my god. What the hell was she thinking?! I never hooked up with ex-boyfriends.

Well, maybe once. Or twice. Or 40 times.

But I think the point is I never had a restraining order against any of them. I always drew the line at the restraining order.

By the way (on a topic that in no way relates to peeing on shoes or restraining orders), Rick and I can’t stop smelling the hair of those Strawberry Shortcake dolls. So worth knocking down three bloggers to grab that swag (no, not really). But those dolls do smell so fruity and magically delicious.

strawberry shortcake smells good

It’s better than being addicted to crack. Definitely.

54 Responses to what happened to my blogher buzz?

  • Kirsten says:

    Those dolls are lovely and delicious.

    And for the love of all that is holy, how did I miss meeting you at BlogHer?!?!?! It’s a crime against humanity. Next year in New York I am going to have coffee with you if it kills me. Hopefully it won’t kill me though because I think my husband and kids might miss me just a little bit.

  • smilinggreenmom says:

    Oh how I loooong for my smilinggreenmom blog!!! Next month baby- then off to Chicago to meet up with the girls too! Sounds like you had a fab time- glad your plane made it back safely, whew, good thing Tim was on it. Caroline

  • Mwa says:

    Same here. I’m determined to make new mom friends next year, but in Belgium anyone interesting seems to have a full time job. Except for me, of course.

  • Inna says:

    I guess I should go sign up for BlogHer next year. For the swag and meeting all the cool bloggers…
    Seeing as its in NYC it’ll be nice and close πŸ™‚

  • Becky says:

    What is it about their hair? I remember as a kid getting my nose all up in Strawberry Shortcakes hair… HEAVEN! And don’t even get me started on Apple Dumpling…

  • Kate says:

    First, yes! Strawberry shortcake smells mad good. What do they put on her so it lasts like that? Second, I am reading about all the SWAG at BlogHer and all anyone writes about are the violent tactics needed to obtain said SWAG. So if I go for my first BlogHer next year (fingers crossed)– should I suit up in armor? What’s the deal?

    ps- i am the first of my friends to become a mama and therefore am sorely without mama friends outside NYC. it’s a friggin jungle out here!

  • I keep reading about all the swag at BlogHer and the tactics some used to get it and it’s a good thing that the hubby has already told me, “if you try and cram one more thing into this house….”

    So um yeah, regardless of how good the doll’s hair smells (and Gaby has some Twitterbaby dolls that smell wicked good!), nor how happy it will make Gaby…nope, not bringin it home.

    Oh and the Odoban stuff! It ROCKS! My Teva’s were sprayed by a skunk last year and I was NOT going to get rid of $80 sandals. Odoban is wonderful!

  • Nap Warden says:

    How do you think I feel. You went home, I AM home. Everyone descended on my town, we had a blast…then they ran screaming from the building…I’m still here…I want more friends in Chi:(

    Pity party over;)

  • Yeah the post Bh adjustment has been less than stellar around these parts too. I keep telling the kids to give me bags of free stuff to make me feel like a blogstar again…but all I got was “Mommy what is SWAG?” so I explained it is free stuff you get at a party to make you feel special and they replied “Oh like the GIFT BAGS we gave out at my party!”…yeah kid. You got it. Except your gift bags didn’t contain dildos and cleaning supplies.


  • E says:

    Ron saw Mary J Blige here in our suburb and so now I dream that I will see her one day and she will be MY new suburban friend. She and I will drive to Westchester to pal around with you and RiRi. That noise you hear? Me hitting social rock bottom.

  • Brianna says:

    Re. not knowing any cool moms. I don’t know what part of Westchester you moved to, but if you’re in the Rivertowns, check out The Rivertown Play Group: http://www.therivertownplaygroup.com/

    Jen and Arin, who run the group and website, are amazing.

    Also – the Hastings and Irvington farmers markets are good places to meet lots of moms and kids.

    Hang in there! You’ll meet new people.

  • Suzie says:

    Mmmm, I can still smell the Strawberry Shortbake hair….yum. I don’t think I will ever forget that scent! Thomas the Tank Engine doesn’t smell good at all. πŸ™

  • I gave my Shortcakes to my sister, so I can’t refer back to it for delicious smells. I’ll just have to go smell one of the swag bags and try and transport myself back to Chicago that way….

    It was awesome meeting you! You did a great job on the panel.

  • ErinB says:

    I think I am going to start a blog so I can go to blogher and make fabulous friends…ok really I want to start a blog and go to blogher to meet Tim Gunn. Damn, you saw right through me!

  • Daphne says:

    No wonder the girls wanted to add lip gloss to their hair. They’re just trying to compete with Strawberry S.Cake for daddy’s sniff-attention. Or to cover the pee smell…?

  • Heather says:

    Maybe your girls are on to something w/ the hair gel/lip gloss…perhaps it’s effective in this crazy Westchester humidity?
    I’m a “new-mom-friendless-in-Westchester” too. Perhaps we should start a BlogHer of Westchester and unearth the other cool, famous, and unfamous moms who must be lurking here somewhere.

  • slouchy says:

    i didn’t go this year — else i would have tried to find you, so that we could meet. but next year! you’ll have to be there, given where you live, right? and i’m originally from that fine city, so…

  • merlotmom says:

    Okay…you’re an experienced journalist and you’re favorite paper is the NY Post?! Loving that. Great character detail. Fun meeting you even if it was only a few quick hellos.

  • Ann says:

    Awww man. You just fly in to my life. Body check me, steal my strawberry shortcake swag, and leave me wanting more.

    I’ll be in room 952. Waiting…waiting…

  • aimee says:

    Good luck with the Starbucks tactic of meeting friends! You always hear about people who met their BFF-who-has-kids- the-same-age at Starbucks. I once knew a woman who met the-best-babysitter-ever-who- her-kids-adore-and-is-avail.- every-Saturday-night at a Starbucks. But, I really think it might be an Urban Myth πŸ™‚

  • johanna says:

    Wish I hung on to the S. Shortcake collection I had! Along with her strawberry carrying case I had, I could be selling on ebay making a fortune! However not sure what their actual scent would be after 30 years. Sorry about the pee in the heels incident…bummer!

  • Cathy says:

    coming home to kids accidentally peeing in your shoes would be hard. πŸ™‚ Good you got the break and had such a fun time. I’ll have to get those Strawberry Shortcake dolls for my nieces so I’ll have an excuse to smell them.

  • jean says:

    Yeah, but, get this! Did you hear that Chris drove by Cipriani while Rihanna was dining inside and I think that totally violates the ‘do not come within 50 yards of me’ rule don’t ya think? (I’m glad to meet another gossip whore! lol!)

  • Shani says:

    I think all the Westchester moms are visiting SC for the summer. Every time I drive anywhere this week I see at least 2 SUV’s that have Westchester dealerships listed on them. I can’t fathom why considering it’s a million degrees with a bazillion percent humidity here this time of year!

  • Amy says:

    No shoe peeing, that you know about anyway.

    I miss you too. My current roommate (aka my kids) don’t try to lure me out of bed with milk duds.

    xoxo, A

  • HaB says:

    I don’t know what I would do if my kid peed in my shoes. Oh – I know! It would give me an excuse to go buy NEW shoes! See – silver lining.

  • Madmad says:

    Ah, the real world… I was explaining to someone the other day (a guy, of course) how being a housewife in the burbs is actually pretty lonely… but he thinks we sit around all day drinking coffee/martinis and gabbing with pals.

    Love the sniffing doll heads pic!

  • Jessica says:

    I missed out on the shortcakes. Phoebe is now happily playing with my cloth grocery bags which is the only swag I got. she is thrilled, I’m guessing b/c she is crying so hard, that is a sign that one is happy right?

  • kristin says:

    You could hang out at those farmers markets and coffee shops with a sign hung around your neck that says “Need new mom friends, apply within” or a name tag that says, Hi, my name is, or hand out your blogher business cards at the playground or put an ad in the local paper.

    HTH. πŸ™‚

  • Elisa says:

    I hate that I’m here (Zurich) now that you are there (Westchester)! We probably ived 10 minutes away from each other.

    On another note – the Strawberry shortcake doll does smell magically delicious! She’s lucky I haven’t eaten her head yet.

  • PAPA says:

    Ah, the NEW yORK POST, when i first moved to LA you couldn”t find it anywhere! I went into withdrawls. Now…I know all the places to find it within a 10 mile radius! πŸ™‚

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kelcey kintner