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Rick has been working the morning anchor shift lately which means he’s out the door at 4 am, leaving me to wake up with the girls. Frankly, I don’t see why he can’t anchor the morning news AND get up with the kids. He maintains it’s technically impossible but I think he may not be trying hard enough.

So every morning around 6:30 am, I can suddenly can feel someone staring at me. I open my eyes and in front of me are two blue eyes (which Dylan insists are green – don’t even bother trying to correct her), just a couple inches from my face. Her supposedly-green-but-actually-blue-eyes are intently focused on me. I can feel her breath on my face. I’m not big on breath in my face. Is anyone really?

“I have to go poop,” Dylan says.

“Ok, go ahead. You can do it yourself honey,” I offer. I’ve never actually sold her on this brilliant idea of mine but I remain forever optimistic.

“I want you to get me started,” Dylan counters.

So I drag myself out of bed, put the bathroom light on and hoist her up onto the Elmo toilet seat.

There. She’s started. I climb back into bed and just as I am about to drift into that sweet, heavenly, magical, beautiful….

“I’m ready to be wiped!”

I wrap up the wiping as Summer wakes up. A few minutes later, I sit the girls down for breakfast. Dylan wants cereal but there is a slight stipulation.

She wants one bowl for the milk.

Another bowl for the cereal.

And a third bowl for sliced bananas.

So I say, “Dylan. Don’t be crazy. You’ll have one bowl with cereal, bananas and milk. I’m not washing THREE bowls. No one needs three bowls to eat cereal!”

Oh wait. That’s not right.

Actually I say, “Ok.”

So. Much. Easier.

The cool thing about Rick heading off to working so early is that he’s home for that always glamorous dinner-bath-books-bed routine. So last night I slipped out and headed to SoHo for an Italian cooking lesson and incredible meal sponsored by Select Italy and organized by the awesome Traveling Mom.

I got to hang with two super adorable Italian chefs… Andrea and Francesco.

They were so funny and talented and just so darn Italian, that I couldn’t help but hug one of them.

That Francesco is just a peach. Would it kill him to put his arm around me?

But it wasn’t all about fun here. No. No. No. I worked my American arse off. Here I am preparing a Grana Padano cheese basket for my baby greens and roasted quail. And you thought I only did Amy’s Organic Mac and Cheese.

I also got to wine and dine with some mighty fine bloggers like Role Mommy, One of those Horrible Moms (who wasn’t even a smidgen horrible), Mom in the City and Today’s Mama.

By the time I got home, the kids were fed, clean, polished and tucked into their beds like dreamy angels.

But there will be payback.

Rick’s taking me to his cult camp reunion this weekend in Philadelphia. I’m told 600 people will be there. Seriously. 600 people I don’t know. Wish me luck mamas.

mama bird notes:

Ever thought about plastic surgery? It’s crossed my mind. Read my piece, Don’t Judge the Mommy Makeover on New York City Moms Blog.

And don’t miss out on our way cool giveaway this week from Maidenform. You have the chance to win $300 worth of bras, underwear and shapewear that you pick out from the their website!

If the winner turns out to live in the New York City area, you’ll have the bonus opportunity to visit Maidenform’s Madison Avenue showroom for a personal fitting.

To enter, just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week. You also need to forward a post to a friend. See that little pink box that says, “send to a friend”? Click there. No spamming your friends. Ever.

32 Responses to wake-up call

  • Jose Salvador says:

    Icommenting from my blackberry in the back of a cab as I head into the office.

    (So nyc right)?

    But – don't u think you are being a little harsh on Rick.

    I would shoot myself if I had to get up at that ungodly hour!!!

    -Devil's Advocate

  • wa says:

    That's usually the way I wake up, too. Except sometimes, I just see a bare bottom looking up at me, ready to be wiped, instead of blue eyes. I should have started locking the bedroom door years ago.

  • Erin says:

    Nice post on the NYC moms blog. Something I am considering myself-seriously. This is if I ever have 12 thou sitting around begging to be used. It might be a while…….

  • Jessi says:

    I'm so envious. My son has decided he doesn't want to poop on the toilet anymore. I am not having fun.

    So how did your food turn out? Bet you had fun!!

  • Milena says:

    Kelcey, Kelcey, those Italian chefs, now that's what I call COOKING (sorry couldn't resist the cheesiness). How great that you got to meet all those other bloggers. Will check them out. And to answer your question. BUT OF COURSE plastic surgery has crossed my mind. It has also crossed my chest, my middle AND my bottom. Left great calling cards everywhere it went. I'm a convert. I'm sure I'll end up looking like a stretched to max Zsa Zsa Gabor in another couple of years but for the moment, I do believe I look divine.

  • It was great meeting you twice in one week. Last night was especially fun! (Also, I can totally relate to the “wipe” issue – it always tends to be at the most inopportune time!)

  • Buffy Blackwell says:

    OK so the other day, fabulous Hotel General Manager me (that's right I got my own hotel!!!) is at home with a very sick 10-year old Riley. I hear boy go into my bathroom; lots of awful noisiness, then "Mama,maaaama! yOU HAVE TO WIPE MY BUTT BECAUSE I AM TOO SICK!" Are you kidding me????? But sick sweet boy that he was and totally wicked cool mom that I am—I did it. That stuff never goes away. I am thankful they still need me.

  • Kathy says:

    My daughter likes everything separated too. And I do it for her to avoid the battle. And because I'm her little bitch. I just do what I'm told around here. 🙂

  • kristin says:

    I saw Rick this morning on Good Day NY. All I want to know is did he bring you a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes for you? Because he was all over them on the air! I feel for you with the potty. Julia insists I come with her to pee – I'm thinking – for moral support? Because she really had it down, but now it's a company thing. Maybe I should try making her come to the bathroom with me all the time too and see how she feels?

  • Betsy says:

    I can't live withour poopie wipes. (premoistened toilet wipes) One wipe and she can take care of herself. My daughter is now totally toilet independent- unless she is wearing jeans or doesn't feel like it.

  • Sally says:

    I get easy. T'was a time when I "accidentally" might have dropped a Blow Pop in my kids' crib at dawn. What?

  • Robin says:

    What a great great feast! It was great to meet you too…nice to have someone to make eyes at as mushroom after mushroom was placed in front of me.

  • sam says:

    we have "toast squares" every morning. don't know what that is? peanut butter toast cut into perfect bite sized squares, no crust. loved your piece on the nyc mom's blog. i say, whatever helps a mama feel good about herself, no judgements.

  • Nap Warden says:

    Cooking class…fun! I did a sushi making class, loved it!

    Left to her own devices, Miss Peach would use three bowls for breakfast, lunch and dinner:)

  • alecia says:

    Damn! I thought the Grana Padano cheese bowls were a unique trick. Guess I won't be impressing you with them at a future Kintner holiday dinner. I had to go all the way to Italy to learn how to make them… my cute chef's name was Giancarlo and he looked just like Antonio Bandaras. Drool. I have the same picture as you with the half-hug. Oh well. Seriously — I want the bras. It's hot here in the tropics and I need something sexy in all cotton. Help, please. Love to Rick and the girls, and come visit us!!!!

  • That sounds like a fun night! I hope you didn't stay out too late (Poop Patrol comes early!) BTW, we found that "personal wipes" put an end to our wiping of the kids' butts. (That, and getting your butt wiped in middle school would be a little embarassing.)

  • susiej says:

    Oh, Poor you! Lucky you to spend all that time under the wise guidance of the chef… and yeah, would it kill you to do that for her?

  • Jacki says:

    So what do I have to do to get a Francesco to teach me to cook Italian? I mean, I already know how, I just need a few primers.

  • francesco says:

    I am the chef Francesco

    thanks to all

    I feel a little flattered by the compliments

    sorry for my English is not perfect

    un bacio a tutte 🙂

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kelcey kintner