So I’m walking to the dentist recently and I have a little time to waste before my appointment, so I run into Urban Outfitters. I’m always convinced that if I pop by this store, I will find an amazing, cute top for $23.
This has never actually happened to me.
The second I walk in, my hears are vibrating from the nonstop pulsing music. “I Want To Be Trash” is blasting from every corner. That’s the title of the song and pretty much all the lyrics too.
I look at other shoppers so we can make eye contact and momentarily bond over the insanely loud music but all I get are vacant 20-something stares.
At which I point I realize, anyone who has forehead wrinkles and doesn’t understand why someone wants to be trash is maybe too old for Urban Outfitters. So I leave. With no cute top.
And head to the dentist. My appointment goes like this…
1. The dental hygienist points out bone loss on my bottom teeth (which confirms my earlier suspicion that I’m too old for grunge, hipster chains like Urban Outfitters).
2. The dental hygienist tells me that I’m not flossing correctly.
3. The dental hygienist recommends I buy a water pick. I think the last time I saw a water pick was in my mother’s bathroom in the 80s but maybe that’s the decade for cutting edge dental technology.
4. The dental hygienist offers to pull up a water pick demonstration on the internet so I can see how it all works. I mumble something about a babysitter needing to leave early but PROMISE to check it out at home.
5. They try to pin me down for another appointment in 6 months. I commit to nothing.
mama bird notes:
I want to send out some prayers and love to the wonderful Braja of Lost and Found in India. She and her husband were in a terrible car accident last week. Updates can be found here. So please send your healing power their way.