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I feel so grateful for all the amazing, poignant words in response to my last post about Kristin K. and her family. I added a couple addendums and photos to the post.

As you can imagine, humor is not radiating through me these days. My heart feels broken for Kristin and her daughter, Julia. And I’m completely positive that my sadness has lead me to be a bit short tempered with my children and my husband. This, of course, is true irony because this is the moment I’m appreciating them the most.

Despite my crankiness, Dyan has been undeterred in her unintentional efforts to make me smile.

Like at 6:30 this morning when Dylan thrust these is my face….

While I slept, she apparently had done some digging in my drawers and found condoms.

Dylan: Mommy, open these! Open these! I want to open these.

Me: What? Dylan, it’s 6:30 am. It’s not wake-up time.

Dylan: Mommy, pleasssssssssssse. I want to open these.

Me (still delirious): Honey, we’ll open them later (Why would I possible say that? Oh my, I am so very very tired.). It’s not candy or a toy. They’re nothing. Please put them back in the drawer.

Dylan: What are they?

Me: Huh? (Are you not completely impressed by my sophisticated delay tactics?)

Dylan: What are they, mommy?

Me: A grown-up thing. For mommies and daddies. That’s all. Please get back in bed. We’ll open them later (Why do I keep saying that?!).

I stuffed the condoms back in the drawer and hope like hell that she sort of just forgets about it.

Kind of like the roller blades. Let me backtrack.

Whatever big sister Dylan can do, Summer can do too (or at least that’s Summer’s theory anyway).

If Dylan wears a winter hat on a 60 degree day, then Summer does too.

If Dylan “reads” the paper, Summer does too.

If Dylan climbs on a step stool to wash her hands, Summers barrels up there too.

So what were we thinking when we ordered one pair of barbie roller blades (courtesy of Nanny)?

Dylan thought the skates were pretty awesome and cool. Summer, naturally, thought they would be pretty awesome and cool… ON HER FEET.

No problem. We’re creative, savvy parents. We’ll figure this out.

How about we take turns? CRYING.

How about we pull out my roller blades? SCREAMING AND SOBBING.

Nothing worked. More tears. We gave up. We shoved the roller blades in a closet until we can come up with a Plan B. You street-smart parents with multiple kids… what exactly is… uh… plan b? Buy another pair of these discount skates for a 17 month-old? Seems sort of ridiculous.

While you’re mulling that over, let me tell you one other thing. If you ever have a babysitter for a few hours and need a new bathing suit, just don’t go looking, ok? Because let me tell you what they sell in these department stores….

Bikinis. Bikinis. Bikinis.

How about some cute, trendy one pieces? I mean, cut a 30-something mama an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny bikini break.

I finally found a few dinky racks of one pieces and next to me is this woman who looks about 104, combing through the very same suits. The very same suits. Ugh. Well, I had to kind of giggle about that. A little.

mama bird noes

Contributing mama Erin K. Butler is back with a beautiful piece about the moment your baby turns into a little girl or boy. Click here to read more.

Here are a couple recent pieces I wrote for New York City Moms Blog on marriage sex vs. television sex and a post office meltdown.

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36 Responses to trying to laugh again

  • Becky says:

    Note to self: Find a better hiding place for our little stash:)

    If you find a good bathing suit please point me in that direction!

    good post!

  • Aah, my 17 month old definitely has a case of wanting to be a big girl as well. I shot some video of her paging through the scholastic book flyer, naming the one word pictures she could identify with.

    Too funny!

    Oh and when you come up with a good explanation for condoms, can you kindly pass that along. We keep ours up high now.

  • Memarie Lane says:

    I'd let them each wear one skate. πŸ˜›

    My condom surprise happened when my dad came over to help me do something with the computer, and in an effort to look for a driver drisk started digging through one of my junk bins, plunging his hand right into a wad of Trojans.

  • Kim says:

    Oh man, I will admit that in a tired state of mind I would have anything to get the kids back to bed.. ahhahha

    On another note, I am truly sorry for your friends loss. I cannot imagine the pains he is going through right now. My condolences.

  • Michelle says:

    The one skate idea is a good one, in a skateboard kind of way! Ladies, put on your helmets!! πŸ™‚

  • Lulu says:

    Kelcey –

    I just read your post about your dear friends … having so much respect and love for you even never having met you, just based on your writings, I express those same feelings towards your friend… Lulu

  • Oh look what's in store for me…Little 9 month old Riley is obviously enamored w/his 3 year old brother and I can see I've got some work ahead of me. Thanks for the warning. P.S. I think the closet was a great solution for the time being.

  • Janna says:

    Thanks for the laughs! I needed them. And your last post was so well written & heartfelt. My best friend from high school's husband is dying of lung cancer & I always feel like I say the wrong thing. Or just don't know what to say at all. I hope I find compassionate words like yours.

  • Kristen M says:

    Mallory has the same sneakers! Thanks for the laugh. I wish I had a suggestion for the rollerblade issue….. the closet seems like a good solution until you can have Dylan play without Summer (maybe Rick can be with one child and you with the other).

  • scrappysue says:

    i'm so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. if it makes you feel any better, you certainly have a wonderful attitude of appreciation about you – trying to stay positive. that photo of your girls' feet is precious!

  • Jennifer H says:

    Ha! I would have made balloon animals out of them if it meant I could sleep a little longer.

    I'm no help on the skates. Does the second pair (if you go that route) have to be inline? Would the Barbie, slip on over shoes, skates work? Good luck!

  • Kimberly says:

    cute story.. not so cute that they belong to my brother, but still cute;) a friends daughter (i know.. but truly is a friend.. not me) found ky warming gel and still asks for "that cream that made my hands so warm and toasty"… hang in there.. thinking of you and your friend… there are no words but your friendship probably means more than you can imagine right now!

    p.s. how cute would your niece josie look in those shoes?????

  • Kimberly says:

    I'm not sure what's cuter – those shoes or your lame stall tactics πŸ˜‰ At least she didn't open them and think they were candy! EWWWW!!!

  • Jacki says:

    Yeah, it is always a treat when Emma finds "something" of ours in our bathroom cabinets or drawers. One time my sister gave Peter a deck of sexy cards as a joke (getting back at him for hanging a p-nis necklace in her car) and Emma somehow found them. …opened the pack and had them spread all over her bed. She called them her "matching game."

  • Aimee says:

    ooo ooo condom balloons what fun! Man oh man…In the coming years I better hide the "draw" of various fun–or Rylan will be finding a little more then condoms πŸ™‚ (mom why does this stick have ears and vibrate?..LOL)

    I love that Dylan is SO into expressing herself–she is so going to be a fashion designer and if SHE wears leg warmers–then it will be ok πŸ˜‰

    Lastly..prayers to your friends family and I hope you find some smiles in your day!

  • Erin says:

    Gosh, Kelcey, I am so very very sorry for your loss and your friend's loss. I think you are right in saying the miracle was the time they had together and their beautiful daughter although right now I'm sure that isn't very comforting to anyone. I will continue praying for you all and mostly for Kristen and her daughter.

  • Gabriella's Mom says:

    Happy to see humor return. My deep condolences for you and Kristin. May Mario's memory be fora blessing. This posting reminds me of an episode on "everybody loves raymond" he accidentally gave out condoms to the neighborhood kids and then had to phone all the parents to fish them out from the goodie bags, how embarassing. Some brands look like that and at Chanukah time be extra careful, it looks like Chanukah Chocolate Gelt we use for dreidel games…kids prefer chocolate.

  • Jen says:

    I'm ALWAYS saying … "we'll do that later" … even at the most ridiculous times. You are not alone! πŸ™‚

  • ke says:

    kelce — I am just catching up, and first, I want to send you all my love and thoughts to you in this very difficult time, i am so sorry about your friend, and am thinking of you. second, the pictures of your girls in this post are the cutest ones i have ever seen — you had me gigling out loud — first with the hats, and then with the newspaper — too cute.

    all my best Kelce, Karen

  • Mama Bee says:

    Besides the obvious (that the fashion industry is the Devil as far as moms are concerned), you should check out the bathing suits from Juicy Couture. Not cheap but VERY flattering πŸ™‚

  • calikim says:

    HA!! All I saw was the picture and I knew what I was about to read next. Too Funny!! First tampons, then condoms. What will Dylan prematurely discover next!!!??? ; )

  • Sally says:

    Hi Kelcey,

    Most would find it impossible to balance grief with uber-wit, exposing oneself to you blogfans, and knowing they want to know what's in your heart. I am so sorry about your friend and your heartbreak. So inspired by your oomph. You know better than I how difficult segues are. Therefore, I won't even try to make it fancy. Let me turn now to the less serious subject of rollerblades. Girl! You need to look for tricked-up foot action in the toddler area. There's a fine reason that rollerblades is a collection noun. They come with many, many wheels in tiny, tiny sizes. You might find something that is perfect for precious Summer!

    Stay strong, Friend.

  • Sally says:

    I meant "Your blogfans" and "tricked-out" and "collective noun." Stupid mind-flats make me sound so stupid.


kelcey kintner