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I took Rick out to dinner to celebrate his 40th.

So we went to this place, Tarry Lodge (a Mario Batali restaurant), that has excellent food. But the very best part of the meal was when this woman walked in who will absolutely be on The Real Housewives of Westchester (you know, once they start casting). Every part of her was fake… her hair color, her face, her lips, her boobs, her elbows, everything.

Ok I don’t know about the elbows.

The point is –  I could not stop staring at this woman.

At first, Rick couldn’t see her from where he was sitting so he actually threw his napkin on the floor so he could get up, pivot slightly, pirouette and finally take a quick peak at this chick.

And of course, one of the servers rushed over immediately with a clean replacement napkin since Rick had “accidentally dropped it.”  It’s a fancy joint like that.  A lot of napkins must get dropped when this gal is in the house.

And then, it got better because she and her boyfriend started arguing which of course, is always entertaining and did confirm that she could still manage facial expressions.

And then it got even more awesome because they were seated right behind us.

So I pulled out my camera and told Rick to pretend to take a picture of me but actually take a picture of her. And then I realized that my camera battery was sitting in the charger at home.

So my husband took a picture with his iPhone (no flash, no close-ups but you get the idea).


In case there is any confusion, I’m the girl on the right. And she’s the very blond gal behind me.

I love that girl! And my fish was pretty great too.

By the way, Rick was so unphased by turning 40 that I had to stress about it for him, which I totally don’t appreciate because I have enough on my to-do list. He’ll be sorry when I go out and buy a convertible or something to help me cope with my faux-I’m-40-crisis.

mama bird notes:

Contributing mama Diane LeBleu is back this week with a beautiful post about kicking cancer on its arse and celebrating what is most important. Click here to read more.

56 Responses to triple D’s at the tarry lodge

  • Portia says:

    Yuck! Does she really think she looks good?? I’m glad you left your battery at home because if the shot would have been any closer my computer screen would be cracked! Poor Rick had to look at that throughout his meal….wow.

  • Tanna says:

    Definitely agree with Portia. If the photo was just of her, I’m not sure I’d be able to fall asleep tonight. Those things are larger than her head! Fortunately for her, fake ones probably wouldn’t roll back to choke her while she sleeps.

  • scrappysue says:

    that photo is blurry and fuzzy and she’s a long way away and i can STILL see her fake lashes. her twin works at the department store near my work – scary….

  • We just don’t see much of that kind of thing here in Maine. Well, I take that back. Aging Barbies are usually the ones at our seaside lobster eateries that have to have the waiters help them eat their lobsters. It’s kinda funny to watch.

  • westchestermom says:

    We just went to tarry lodge for my birthday last month. I actually found myself wishing that we had stayed in the city after work to celebrate instead of choosing Tarry Lodge. We didn’t see anyone that looked like this woman, and I have to admit that I don’t see many people that look like her in Westchester.

  • christy says:

    Wow can you imagine how long it takes her to get ready to leave the house?! I seriously just don’t get it. Not any of it. ugh.

    Super cute photo of you though! Glad you had fun!

  • More importantly, what did her date look like? Am guessing she wasn’t dining alone? Unless she’s a “working gal.” Maybe she was headed for the bar at the Four Seasons and somehow strayed up to Westchester?

  • Kerry says:

    I’m struck by how this innocent woman is being crucified by a bunch of mamas! Jeez! I’m sure she would have her share of fun at our expense. Hopefully she isn’t a mama bird reader.

    Happy 40th Rick from sunny Lake Tahoe!

  • Cat says:

    If that’s what you call entertainment you need to move to OC. They’re wall to wall here and at it 24/7. Drama we got it!

    As for Rick, the stress will show sooner or later!

    Mine bought a red merc (20 years old) and converted it to run on veggie oil. We call it our “little red tractor” because it just keeps chugging along.

  • Jacki says:

    I live only minutes away from Tarry Lodge! How cool that you were dining near my ‘hood! I have to admit though that your blonde friend is not the norm here. Cute picture of you though! Happy 40th to the hub 🙂

  • Chris says:

    I think I love that girl too! Fun! I also love the expression on your face and how you’re slightly leaning towards the wall. You two are like Get Smart and Agent 99!

  • Madmad says:

    Ah, faux forty! Those were the good ol’ days…. Hey! That’s an awesome sneak pic of the Real Housewife wannabe behind you. You look so innocent and “Who, me?” And of course the contrast between natural beauty and… hm… whatever she is, is so perfect, too!

  • Nancy Walton says:

    I love that you had Rick take the “pretend it’s about me” photo with his iPhone. It’s good to know that your inner reporter is alive and well (you know, do what you have to to get the story/photo). Of course, it helps that you’re married to one who is both “inner and outer”. Great story with the perfect photo, per usual!

  • Miss Behavin says:

    This totally cracks me up!

    I carry my camera everywhere, you know, just in case I may need to capture a shot for a blog post. My husband is just as helpful and supportive as Rick.

    Happy Birthday, to both of you!

  • Heather says:

    I keep wondering when they’re going to be casting for Housewives of Westchester! Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m eligible, because I’m not fake enough. I do have a horrid fascination of those women though. We were driving home from a christening in NJ last weekend, and passed the Franklin Lakes exit. My request for a drive through was denied!

  • Peta says:

    Wait…I thought you moved to Weshchester, not LA?? Gotta say, getting RID OF my Es (yeah that’s triple D PLUS) cost my insurance company about $25K. You could not pay me enough to carry those around again! BTW, you look great – for faux-40.

  • Suzie says:

    Wow! Gotta love the iPhone! 🙂 Sadly, she would not stand out here in OC…you, however, look lovely. And I think you should start celebrating faux-forty from here until you actually DO turn 4-0!

  • KidSafe Mama says:

    Ok – you got me here. I am hysterical, with tears streaming. I almost feel sorry for this ‘woman’. I just love the fact that Rick goes right along with you in your craziness! Too funny. Great blog.
    Happy bday Rick!

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Come on ladies; you don’t know what this woman looks like without all the help she got. She might have been worse off before.

  • Tiffaney says:

    I’d be mesmerized too! She reminds me of the actress who played Carla’s ex-husband’s new wife on Cheers, remember? Waaaay back in the 80’s? Jean Kasem was her name, I think.

  • Mwa says:

    I’m always amazed at barbies like that. Where do they find the time and energy? Surely no one is born like that? I wouldn’t be surprised if she does have fake elbows.

  • Oh fess up: you DID go on eHarmony (figuring you’d meet the perfect mom-pal and once your eyes met and she realized you were fated to be best friends/share 2-for-1 happy hour drink specials, you could explain the situation and it’d be your “met cute” story when the other jealous moms asked how you found each other, but when she showed up, you were all “nope, not me; I’m just sitting here with my husband, yadda, yadda…did I mention my husband??” Admit it.

  • Kim says:

    She totally reminds of that girl from Rock of Love.. then she was on that charmed school show.. (man I watch way to much bad TV) 🙂

  • Cyn says:

    My husband turned 40 late last year and he’s had the slow, pressure-cooker kind of mid-life crisis. It comes up with no warning at the oddest times. Maybe Rick’s pirouette is a sign of inner turmoil?

  • Oh my goodness! YOU ARE HILARIOUS!!! Love it. And I love how you made your husband take that picture. That is definitely something I would do…:-)

    I love the part about the napkin as well. I brought my little babe to a restaurant where they pick up everything you drop. She loves to play with spoons and throw them on the ground right now. After about seven spoons on the floor, I finally had to tell the staff that they didn’t need to pick up the spoons or bring any clean ones over. I wiped it on my pants and said, “See, all clean, all better!”

  • anymommy says:

    Whew. She’s…interesting. You on the other hand, are gorgeous! I love the line about stressing about turning forty for him. That’s exactly how I’ll feel.

  • I will turn 40 first since I’m a year older than my husband (cougar!) And I’m totally doing it right this time. When I turned 30, I was all “whatever – been there done that” since I had just planned two huge 30th birthday parties for my two best friends the previous year. So it wasn’t until Chris turned 30 that I got the spirit again and hosted a fabulous dinner party for him at his favorite restaurant. I am going to be ALL ABOUT my 40th. I just need to figure out which Island I want to rent… Or maybe I’ll just have some work done – possibly a boob job and platinum extensions.

  • ann says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE. when I got to the part about her managing facial expressions… I cackled- yes, cackled, out loud 😉 !!! Just for fun, it might have been cute to say to the waiter – hey, can I just keep that one? I’m a messy eater” just to see the look on their face… 😉 your blog’s hilarious.

  • aimee says:

    Too funny! I LOVE the pretent to take a photo of me but actually take a photo of someone else. My hubby is always willing to do that for me, too!

  • KC says:

    Wow. She’s so…um…dayglo. I would TOTALLY have taken a picture too. I mean, how can you not? She’s Betty Boop on Botox.

kelcey kintner