Dear Mean Girl,
Seriously? You stole my coat from a children’s museum? In the room where everyone leaves their jackets? On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day? A day that represents unity and peace for gosh sakes. The coat I just bought in October? Damn.
And just so you know, I already felt like crap that day. Oh yeah, I had one of those nasty colds. So there I was at the lovely Stepping Stones Museum in Connecticut, trying to keep up with my girls in the holiday crowds and blowing my nose every 20 seconds while you, lady, were stealing my darn coat. It’s just sad to steal from a girl who has to keep dragging her kids to the ladies’ room every half hour for a new supply of tissues.
I guess I should be grateful because at least you took my car keys out of my coat pocket and dumped them on the floor before you took off. So I’m glad Dylan, Summer and I didn’t have to hitchhike home. And I am very happy you didn’t steal my car. Or my Sephora beauty points that are hanging from my key chain.
And mean girl, do you know what it’s like to try to find a new winter parka in late January? Not exactly a truckload of inventory. Now if you’re looking for a spring pea coat, this is your month. But I’m thinking you have your own ways of acquiring a new pea coat.
Now don’t worry about me being cold (I knew you would worry) because I finally found another winter coat at Macy’s on sale for $79. Pretty inexpensive, right? I mean, if you don’t count all the money I spent on my first winter coat.
Listen, I’m going to forgive you. Mostly because I don’t know how to track your arse down and force you return my beloved Juicy coat. Forgiveness seems the obvious second choice. So enjoy it. And please stop stealing. Because it just ain’t cool. And if you’re going to wear Juicy, you’ve got to work on being cool.
The Girl Who Now Has To Carry Her Coat When She Goes To Museums With Her Kids
mama bird notes:
Do you need a little mama pampering or a divine gift? JuiceBox Jungle is offering an incredible deal today for all my New York City area readers.
Today only you can purchase a French Lavender Manicure and Pedicure at the heavenly Great Jones Spa for half the price (regularly $105, today only $50).
This offer includes use of their facilities (the famous Water Lounge, hot tub and relaxation room) for up to two hours. And for you eco-gals, all the products used contain no synthetic dyes, PEG-free, biodegradable and and paraben free.
Just click here to purchase today and then schedule your manicure/pedicure at your convenience.