7:30 pm: Girls in bed.Wow. I can’t believe the girls are in bed! Rick and I high five each other.
7:45 pm: Eat candy.
7:50 pm: Watch “Nurse Jackie.” This show is awesome. Carmela + Showtime + drug addicted, philandering nurse = Something decent to actually watch in the summer!
8:20 pm: Damn. “Nurse Jackie” is over. Watch “Gary Unmarried,” a show about a divorced contractor with two kids. Wonder why they don’t just call the show “Gary Divorced.” Wonder when Jay Mohr got so puffy. Wonder why sitcoms are so predictable. Wonder why I’m watching.
8:45 pm: Eat a little more candy but tell myself, it’s ok because I’m totally thinking about working out again.
8:50 pm: Organize recyclables. Decide that’s sort of like working out.
8:58 pm: Wonder if my new neighbors can see me through my windows.
9 pm: Spend 2 hours getting sucked into the blog vortex. LMAO because Marinka is twittering with Kathy Ireland.
11 pm: Definitely going to bed. On my way. Realize I forgot to change the laundry. Who can remember to do laundry when it’s all the way down in the basement? Head to the basement which is very quiet and very dark and very freaky. Imagine murderer breaking into my basement. Sort laundry at reckless speed. Realize I don’t care if I shrink some of my clothes in the dryer. I just want to live.
11:07 pm: Off to bed now. Change alarm code first. You can never be too careful. Make mental note to tell Rick about new code. Immediately forget until he sets off the alarm the following evening.
11:15 pm: Flip through Pottery Barn catalog. Ponder why rugs are so expensive when all you do is step on them.
11:23 pm: Take Dylan to the bathroom.
11:30 pm: Try to put Neosporin on Summer’s scraped knee without waking her. Immediately wake her. Make 4 failed attempts before giving up.
11:45 pm: Brush teeth, take out contacts and wash face. Skip flossing. Feel guilty. Floss.
11:57 pm: Look at my Blackberry one last time to make sure Kathy Ireland hasn’t tweeted me. But really, why would she? She’s Marinka’s model BFF. I need to find my own model.
12:01 am: Decide to watch just a few minutes of “Sex and the City” so I can be comforted by the streets of New York City and the nightlife. Realize how much I miss those sex scenes now that the show is in syndication. Try to once again understand why Carrie is so obsessed with Mr. Big.
12:25 am: “SATC” ends. Why am I still up? I really need to get more sleep. I’m definitely going to sleep earlier tomorrow night. Totally. I swear.