When you have children, this is what happens…
You suddenly have no time to yourself. Not even in the bathroom. Unless you lock the kids out. I recommend locking them out.
You worry. Constantly.
You listen to a lot of whining. And crying. And tantrums.
You ingest more wine.
You YELL at your children, “Stop YELLING!” It’s not effective.
You will keep trying this parenting technique. It never works.
You eat a lot of meals standing up. Very quickly.
Your sleep is constantly interrupted.
You start drinking coffee. Lots of it.
You’re still tired.
You no longer go to the movies.
You barely work out.
You avoid mirrors.
Errands suddenly start to count as “alone time.”
Time starts moving too quickly. Except from 4 to 6 pm. That really drags.
You notice wrinkles. You ask yourself, “Why do I have wrinkles?! I’m so young.”
But you’re sort of not anymore.
Ditto for grey hair.
Your children stalk you.
Until one day they don’t.
When did they turn into people?! Like real actual people.
They’re busy. They’ve got plans. And friends. A lot of stuff that has nothing to do with you.
In fact sometimes they don’t even have time to be nice to you.
Actually, it’s a lot of the time.
They make fun of you.
Because you left the car keys in the washing machine.
And now you are more of an ATM.
And a driver.
You still worry. Constantly.
You’re supposed to be letting go.
But instead, you’re sort of stalking them.
And then they just leave and go off to college.
And want you to pay the bill.
And here you are. With plenty of time to do all that stuff you used to like to do, if only you could remember what it was exactly.
It’s boring to be alone in the bathroom.
The house is so quiet.
You miss them.
And you still worry. Constantly.
Because you love them. More than yourself. Who knew that was possible?
And a part of you wishes, you could go back in time and do it all over again.
And the other part is excited about what is next.