You can drive while talking on your phone while giving yourself a facial while working on an excel spreadsheet. That is all fine. Just don’t leave your trash can outside of your garage or you will be ticketed. Because Florida don’t put up with that crap.
Women work out in full make up.
These women also don’t sweat.
Every conversation somehow ends up a conversation about boob jobs.
Floridians are super serious about their Christmas decorations. Like if your lights don’t dance to the rhythm of specific holidays songs, just shut them off because nobody needs to see your amateur, half ass efforts.
79 degree weather means boots and sweatshirts. Maybe a light vest. I just felt a breeze. Better grab a coat.
No one has yet to say to me, “So what do you think of the Ukraine situation?” But probably in New York, nobody would ask me either.
Despite the humidity, everyone’s hair looks fantastic.
You must own sunglasses. And when you lose yours, you will be forced to wear your 9-year-old’s rhinestone pair. So you will buy a replacement at a local pharmacy. You will then break those and be forced to once again to wear your tween’s glasses. This situation will keep repeating itself.
You will wait 2 to 4 minutes at traffic lights. It will seem like an hour and a half.
You will start to wonder if Publix is some kind of mafia run supermarket chain because there is one in every single shopping center. But once you find out they give free cookies to kids at the bakery, you will no longer care about that organized crime connection.
Every bizarre national story you hear on the news will take place in Florida.
Despite bears attacking innocent women in gated communities, sink holes, alligators and George Zimmerman, it’s still 80 degrees and sunny.
mama bird notes:
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