1. Sticker Charts. (I simply can not understand how anyone motivates their kids with a sticker chart. I bow down to you parents but I make these charts and they just hang there all sad and empty.)
2. Disposable Wipes. (Dylan is like… “Yeah, mom. It’s a wipe. So what? Seen a million of them. Big whoop. Can you wipe me?)
3. M&M’s. (Damn. This really worked when she was potty training. The lure of the M&M is gone.)
4. Toys. (Who needs a new Paint Her Nails Barbie when your mom is wiping your arse? Not Dylan.)
5. Leaving her on the potty to cry. (I tried this once and caved quickly. I simply can not stomach it. Way too easy to visualize her in a therapist office talking about her bowel issues. Worried she will mentally stop herself from pooping to avoid being abandoned on the potty. Worried that poop and abandonment issues will prevent her from being a productive member of society. She’ll then need to be in a special home for unproductive members of society where someone will wipe her ass anyway.)
6. Threats. Threaten to take away TV if she doesn’t start doing all her own wiping. Realize I’m only punishing myself.
7. Encouragement. (I told Dylan when she wipes herself after number 2, she can stop holding my hand when we cross the street. Dylan is now content to hold my hand.)
8. Extra TV. (According to the life rules of Dylan, no amount of “Fresh Beat Band” is worth the unsanitary, vile task of wiping yourself.)
9. Wait until she has to poop at school and she’ll have to do it herself. (Great idea except she absolutely, positively never poops at school. Maybe I should pack her prunes and Ex-Lax for snack time.)
10. Do nothing and hopes the situation changes. I’m worried that next year I’ll have a 7-year-old who doesn’t wipe her own bum. Oh, it could so happen.
mama bird notes:
I want to thank Momtourage for including me in their Fab Five Fridays.
And thank you to The Work at Home Woman for including me in their list of 50 Best Blogs by Women.
I am so flattered and honored!!