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there are no ugly babies. well, maybe one.
So earlier this week, I see this image (with no sound) for a split second on the television…
and I think to myself… that poor woman. Her baby is so NOT cute. Sigh. Well, I’m sure she thinks he’s cute. I mean, doesn’t every mother think their own baby is cute? They must.
Then my attention is quickly diverted because 4 year-old Dylan says to me…
“I love coffee so much. Kira gives it to me all the time. I just love it.”
“Really? Kira [our babysitter] gives you coffee all the time?” I ask.
“Yes. I just love it.”
This story sounded incredibly suspicious since Kira is absolutely the best babysitter EVER and I really can not imagine a scenario where the two of them are sipping cafe lattes all afternoon.
But then I lose my focus on their supposed caffeine outings, because I notice some photographs in 21 month-old Summer’s crib.
“What are these?” I wondered out loud.
“I gave those to Summer,” Dylan explains. I pick up several photos of me and my ex-college boyfriend.
“Where did you get these?” I ask.
“From your drawer,” Dylan says. Apparently Dylan dug them out of a drawer that is packed with photos chronicling my life from high school angst to 30-something midlife crisis.
I look at the photos. I must say, I’m relieved the mock turtleneck is pretty much extinct.
For some reason (and I don’t really understand why), it seems inappropriate for my young children to be pouring over photos of my ex, so I shove them back in the drawer.
Later in the day, I call Kira. Turns out, she does not ever give my 4 year-old coffee. They split a cigarette now and then but that’s it. And only when they’re stressed.
Ok, the cigarette thing is most definitely not true.
And then I glance in the paper and see this….
along with an article explaining that this is Pingping, the world’s smallest man, hanging out with Svetlana Pankratova, the woman with the world’s longest legs. All part of the publicity for the new Guinness World Records.
Thankfully, not a mother and son combo after all.
I can’t tell you how much better I feel.
And there you have it – a whole post without one mention of Sarah Palin. Oh, wait. There it is.
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I hereby nominate Pingping for the Republican Vice-President
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The world’s longest legs and they have to put her in *those* shoes? Gag!!
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You know he was dying to look up…
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Oh thank you for clearing that up. For a moment there, I thought that was Palin and McCain pre-camera ready makeup.
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Pingping? Really? *dies of laughter*
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Memarie Lane said what I was thinking…
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LOOK UP ??!!! He’s lucky he wasn’t sucked up!!~!!
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This is great. I hope they are both getting paid lots and lots of moolah to do those awful pics.
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You need to get a widget/counter that says, “This blog has been Palin-free for __ days.”
Those pictures creep me out – but at least they aren’t the ones of you and your ex.
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I’m so glad I’m not the only one who finds these pictures disturbing at best and horribly inappropriate at worst. EW!
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Pingping must have a passport… Maybe he can run for VP?
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and you were so close!
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LOL @ Amy…apparently that’s all you need.
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So, as I am scrolling down and the top half of the picture (just the blue skirt) at the end of the post, I’m thinking you’re going to end by saying you are so glad that units aren’t in style anymore. (in reference to a picture of you and your ex). I did not expect the little man to be underneath that skirt. Def diddn’t see that coming!
It’s been a long week of sick kids, I’m a little punchy.
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Very weird pictures…might even cause me to have nightmares!
How old is Pingping? Did they say?
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Needed those laughs ( : Thanks.
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So glad the mock turtle neck is passe, too. I wouldn’t want my child drinking coffee either, even though I can’t live without out it.
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Oh my god. MY EYES!!!
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I love how you ramble!
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I saw this pictures this week, too, and I can’t help wondering how he has the restraint not to look up. And gaze.
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We need a half white/half black hermaphrodite running for President; who is pro-choice and a member of the NRA. Whose mother was Jewish and father was Catholic; and they raised their child Protestant. At this point, no matter who wins, we can all kiss our asses ‘good-bye’…at least for the next 10 years. Our economy, our war-mongering, our crime rate, our millions of illegals here sucking off our government tit, and our government workers (inept and greedy) are all converging to wreck havoc on our country, and our lives. Stock up on alcohol, canned food, guns and ammo and put in a victory garden with lots of pot plants….that’s my advice for getting through the ‘depression’.
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I\\\’m not sure those photos are any better than cooked placenta. Seriously. You\\\’re killin\\\’ me!
Kids make up the most hilarious things. Coffee. Sheesh. No one in their right mind would five already too energetic children more fuel.
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LOL… but I’m sure you were correct, that guy could not have been a pretty baby. And Mama Bee, I’m with you, she needed better shoes for the photo shoot…more like “worlds ugliest guy and woman with worlds ugliest shoes”
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Dude, Ping Ping is totally checking out her vi-jay-jay. Ewww.
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Oh come on. I’m sure she was wearing panties….
Wasn’t she?
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that’s slightly creepy and really so bizarre it looks fake.
ah, life…
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I was still reeling from reading the 60+ comments on 9/17′s post and trying to remember why I liked reading this. I love politics, I think it’s fascinating and important for the country. But it seems that you can’t talk about the issues without going ugly. I was almost over it and then bam, I read the first comment from today and then another one a few down and thought, this is just ugly. There were some thoughtful posts that summed it all up. We are all women, we may not support the same ideas but can’t we all get along and support EACH OTHER. I was originally going to post about the SAHM vs Working women wars (all made up in the media?) that was mentioned in the 9/17 but got distracted. They do overblow it and make it an issue but as the last post was an example, if you are not on the same side, it can get ugly. I’ve learned that if you are not totally believing/secure in your own decision (if you had one) about working or not working, then you will deride the other side. I’ve learned not to say certain things in front of certain people.
I’m learning not to bring up politics in my mom’s group anymore. I’m in the middle (seems like no one here is???!!!)
It’s been stimulating…
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Thanks for the Monday moning chuckle! Those pics made me do a double take too.
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Can you believe…I have no comment on that combo;)
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I can’t wait for your next post so I don’t have to see that scary picture of those two everytime I open up your blog!
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Maybe if you have the world’s longest legs, you also have the world’s biggest feet and therefore have a very limited number of shoes from which to choose?
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Ok, am I the only one who has a totally hysterical comment in my head and by the time I finish typing the letters and numbers in the box, I can hardly remember my own name?
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I was waiting for it…! And I am so glad to hear that the cigarette thing isn’t really happening. So early to start, you know!
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As I was reading, I thought, “Oh good…I’m not the only one who lets my kids sip my frappucinos….” – eesh, I guess I AM the only one. BAD BAD MOM. And who was this Tulane boyfriend?
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can i hear ya say ‘freak show’!!!
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Can you imagine going through life that short? Great post!
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Michelle’s comment about Units…I’d almost forgotten about those! Man, I thought they were so cool. Your dress was also your skirts or your headband. And possibly your purse. And maybe your bath towel. You just KNOW SJP wore Units, back in her Square Pegs days.
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