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So earlier this week, I see this image (with no sound) for a split second on the television…

and I think to myself… that poor woman. Her baby is so NOT cute. Sigh. Well, I’m sure she thinks he’s cute. I mean, doesn’t every mother think their own baby is cute? They must.

Then my attention is quickly diverted because 4 year-old Dylan says to me…

“I love coffee so much. Kira gives it to me all the time. I just love it.”

“Really? Kira [our babysitter] gives you coffee all the time?” I ask.

“Yes. I just love it.”

This story sounded incredibly suspicious since Kira is absolutely the best babysitter EVER and I really can not imagine a scenario where the two of them are sipping cafe lattes all afternoon.

But then I lose my focus on their supposed caffeine outings, because I notice some photographs in 21 month-old Summer’s crib.

“What are these?” I wondered out loud.

“I gave those to Summer,” Dylan explains.  I pick up several photos of me and my ex-college boyfriend.

“Where did you get these?” I ask.

“From your drawer,” Dylan says. Apparently Dylan dug them out of a drawer that is packed with photos chronicling my life from high school angst to 30-something midlife crisis.

I look at the photos. I must say, I’m relieved the mock turtleneck is pretty much extinct.

For some reason (and I don’t really understand why), it seems inappropriate for my young children to be pouring over photos of my ex, so I shove them back in the drawer.

Later in the day, I call Kira. Turns out, she does not ever give my 4 year-old coffee. They split a cigarette now and then but that’s it. And only when they’re stressed.

Ok, the cigarette thing is most definitely not true.

And then I glance in the paper and see this….

along with an article explaining that this is Pingping, the world’s smallest man, hanging out with Svetlana Pankratova, the woman with the world’s longest legs.  All part of the publicity for the new Guinness World Records.

Thankfully, not a mother and son combo after all.

I can’t tell you how much better I feel.

And there you have it – a whole post without one mention of Sarah Palin. Oh, wait. There it is.

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kelcey kintner