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Oct
03
2012

I’m not that big on singing reality shows. I’ve only watched a few minutes of American Idol (my lack of respect for this show has obviously at times pushed my marriage to the brink) but The Voice is sucking me in. I think it has to do with some kind of centrifugal force from Christina Aguilera’s always present insane boobs.

Isn’t she just a wonderful role model for our young girls with her hoochie mama outfits? But to her credit, I’m sure she is lifting the folding fan industry out of economic woes.  You’d think her outfits would keep her cool enough but those lights must be super hot!

But I really like The Voice because the judges are nice to the contestants. They don’t bring on people to just make fun of them. The contestants all have some degree of talent and the judges seem actually saddened and supportive when someone doesn’t make it past the blind auditions.

It’s like the kinder, gentler music competition and I like it. It’s a show I can actually show my 5 and 8-year-old girls as long as I explain that there is better breast support out there for women.

What I can’t figure out is why it’s so hard for the contestants to pick a coach.  I mean, don’t you immediately know who you would choose?

Rick said he would definitely pick Cee Lo Green. (Frankly, I’m surprised he has time to think about a judge since he’s so busy singing along with all the contestants.)

I do think Cee Lo Green is very cool and talented but seems a little off his rocker. Something to do with the parrot.

Christina is too busy with her fan.

Blake is very sweet and charming but I need a coach who understands my deep appreciation for Florence and the Machine. Or rather One Direction. Whatever.

In my opinion, Adam Levine is the obvious choice because he’s a hot, sensitive rocker with tattoos. Oh and also because he’d bring my voice to the next level.

So who would you pick? And you can’t say Keith Urban. Wrong show.


15 Responses to the voice is beckoning me

  • Alex says:

    Omg, did you see Xytina’s boobs last night??? I was lunging at the tv thinking they were going to spill out any second and I had to be there to shove them back into her crazy excuse for a tank top. They were like giant ziplocks filled with applesauce. No tank top can contain them! But who’s even looking at those when Adam Levine is sitting two chairs down. Sorry, Xtina. I love you and your sloppy ta-tas but there ain’t no boobs in the world big enough to distract me from the hypnotic, down right disturbing sexiness that emanates from every pore of Adam Levine. Are you with me, Ladies???

  • annie says:

    Adam all the way. It’s a no brainer! My girls love watching and never fail to say “Christina really needs a bigger shirt!”

    One night I heard my 12 yr old say “Hmm, looks like she got a bigger shirt but forgot her pants!”

  • Abby says:

    Team Adam for the win!!!!! If you pick Blake you also get Miranda and she’s crazy with a gun. I’d rather fend off models and hang with Adam any day.

  • beachgirl says:

    Always Team Adam even though I am not immune to blakes southern drawl. I was thrilled to find out that my 6 year old has the same taste in men as her mama as the occasional night she gets to watch it she is team adam all the way. BUT I am going to be torn big time next season when Mr Dreamboat Usher joins the team as he has my heart…..

  • Meag says:

    I’d pick Cee Lo just for the insane amount of flirting that would ensue!
    He rocks a white, silk leisure suit like no one’s business!

  • Angi says:

    Team Adam, every time. I’ve tried explaining Adam’s talent to my son…but he just doesn’t get it. Neither does my husband…what’s wrong with them?

    Also Christina’s boobs are un-freaking-real. How do they not fall out of there? I mean, she’s had a baby for crap sake. I’m guess duct tape. I have to be right, right?

  • Issa says:

    Blake.

    I am with you. It’s a nicer sweeter lets not be mean to people for ratings singing show about singing and hey guess what it has high ratings! Shocker. Heh. My kids and I watch it.

  • Kristine says:

    I have so many thoughts about this that it may actually be a cause for concern.

    Last year, I was in love with CeeLo (In. Love.), but this year he is SO unenthusiastic that I’m ready to move on. Xtina, on the other hand was a bitch last season, but changed her tune this time around. Still: don’t trust her. Adam? He’s super short, so that would probably reduce my desire to undress during our coaching sessions, but I don’t think I could be trusted.

    Thusly, my choice is Team Blake because he’s absolutely adorable and hilarious and much taller than Adam and therefore I love him.

  • Lauren says:

    This post read my mind! I really like Christina but she has a serious boob situation going on. I feel like they look like oiled pecks not cleavage. Cee Lo has been rather ho-hum this season and although I ADORE Adam, he does seem a little car-salesy this time. Blake has his southern charm but I may have to go with Christina. Adam would not be good for my marriage ;)

  • Lisa says:

    What’s with the parrot? Last year it was the cat, now a parrot?
    Xtina and the boobs, so expect them to pop right out of there.
    I do love Blake. And the arguing makes me laugh. Sad that the auditions have ended.

  • Kim says:

    I’d have a hard time only if Blake and Adam turned around. I don’t know which one I’d love to stare at more. Completely different ends of the spectrum, but both yummy.

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