RSS Feed
the two things i learned during our visit to the jersey shore
1. I learned that bartenders/waitresses with big breasts get bigger tips:
My husband and I ate at a fantastic restaurant while in Margate, NJ this past weekend. We sat at the bar and our server was a very nice woman with very large breasts. And her top allowed for a lovely presentation of previously mentioned breasts. At the end of the meal, my husband paid and then I took a quick look at the credit card receipt.
Me: Why did you give her like a 27% tip?
Rick: Did I? I didn’t realize. Well, the service and food were great.
Me: I think 20% would have really sent that message. Let’s go before you give her any more of our cash. Or our car. Or our life savings.
2. I learned that it’s very hard to nurse two babies in a minivan at a rest stop on the Garden State Parkway.
Despite the size of the dream minivan, there just wasn’t ample room to nurse them both comfortably. But somehow we got it done.
|
28 comments <--click to comment |
 send to a friend
|
If Rick didn’t give you at least 27%, too, I’d start calling lawyers.
[Reply]
haha Love it Jennifer. Yes, definitely 27% for allowing him to take a pic of u nursing the twins while at said rest stop. He’s probably just jealous because they’re ‘for the babies’ right now.
[Reply]
For 27%, I hope she nursed your entire family.
[Reply]
i just love the 3 different expressions: that looks like chase, chowin’ down, quite happy, harlowe has a little furrowed brow, and you’re probably wondering when someone outside of your car will notice what’s going on, and can they drink faster please! love that blue pillow tho – looks like it’s doin the job! did your babies tip you 27% too?
[Reply]
I just had the same tipping conversation with my husband! He was about to leave like a 30% tip but I’m terrible and I made him take some back….so he only left like 24%. Yes, our waitress was pretty but come on!
[Reply]
Maybe the bartender could help you out next time.
[Reply]
You are AMAZING!! Forget the waitress boobs, CHECK YOU OUT! Amazing.
[Reply]
I can’t tell if that look on your face is from the tight space in the minivan or the 27%….
[Reply]
Well I hope you got a tip for your mammary excellence. Here’s one from another minivan momma – sit in the 2nd row captain chairs for maximum comfort! Can stretch out a little more.
[Reply]
That is simply the most hilarious picture I’ve ever seen. Mostly because of what’s NOT seen. Just that sliver of your expression and the babies’ positioning says it all.
[Reply]
Shouldn’t someone be feeding you a drink while you’re feeding the babes?
[Reply]
you are truly amazing!
[Reply]
the pics are hilarious. lol
[Reply]
Hmph. I’d like to see big boob waitress do that! I think you deserve at least 27%!
[Reply]
Love that nursing pic. You are impressive!
I remember sitting on a cooler trying to nurse my baby on while we were driving on the PA turnpike. She was strapped in her car seat– screaming. Good times!
[Reply]
kelsey, just thought of you after reading this http://www.associatedcontent.c.....tml?cat=25
[Reply]
The look on your face is awesome. I also nursed at a rest stop recently and was super-annoyed that we had to stop. I have successfully nursed a baby while said baby was strapped into a carseat while cruising along at 65 mph. I would not recommend this with twins, but just throwing it out there in case you feel like wrenching your neck and contorting your back for fun.
[Reply]
When I saw the title I expected you to enlighten me, and let me know that not everyone at the Jersey Shore is orange.
I love surprises!
So, is everyone there orange?
[Reply]
so that’s like 13 1/2% for each boob? Do you suppose she factored that in to the price of the augmentation? Like amortizing the price of a REALLY expensive pair of shoes over the 15 years you’ll wear them?
[Reply]
i too have done the twist and stretch maneuver to feed the screamer while he was strapped in the safety seat. ouch. and not just my back!
[Reply]
As someone who tried–and failed–to get a latch with ONE baby (three months, I tried!), I can’t tell you how impressed I am with this nursing-twins-in-the-minivan trick. I think, any time you start experiencing any self-doubt, you just need to take a look at this picture for a reality check. You are a Super Mom!!!!
[Reply]
Did Brad Pitt take those photos of you? He can’t get enough of the double-breastfeeding action. I didn’t take him for a minivan driver, though.
I love that you busted him. G would have done the same thing. And maybe have wanted a picture with her.
[Reply]
I think it’s VERY clear that you need to get a job as a bartender. Then see how Rick enjoys your D-size tips.
[Reply]
You are superwoman!
[Reply]
I’m a little disappointed this post included the words “Jersey Shore”, but there was no picture of Rick showing off his abs with his hair spiky.
[Reply]
Am in awe of your ability to nurse two in the car. I’ve got twins, now 8, who I nursed until they were one, but never managed it in the car. Did the football hold at home on the couch but somehow in the car it was a one to one matter.
[Reply]
I’m also in awe of your awesome ability! I had a hard time trying to nurse just one child at a time in the car, which of course happened more times than I’d like to remember – emergency feedings in the car at the worst times were not that fun for me!
[Reply]
I love this pic! (I am from the Jersey Shore and I am not orange, btw.
)
[Reply]