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We are moving to the Miami area in a week. A W-E-E-K. I’m trying to sort through the house before the packers come but it’s a ridiculous endeavor since children are out to defeat me. Like begging me to keep a coffee table that has been sitting in our basement since the Paleolithic era (obviously that’s an estimate).

Word has leaked out about Rick’s new job opportunity. Apparently he is not going down to Florida to wrangle alligators as I had previously thought but instead he’s going to stick with the news thing. Which is crazy because news is so depressing and alligators are so spunky!

Rick’s new job was reported on Jose Lamiet’s Gossip Extra and this was by far my favorite quote, “Folbaum has managed to stay away from political controversies at Fox, but has been the target of rumors about his wearing a hair piece!”

His hair is real. I swear.  And it better stay in his head because there is no money for a toupee.  Now that we are moving to Florida, all our money is going to be funneled into anti-frizz hair products for me. When my kids ask why there is no money for college, I will simply point to my sleek locks and say, “Study this darlings! Isn’t my hair fabulous?”

Actually, I won’t do the Brazilian Blowout again, so my hair is going to look awful down there. That’s why I am madly working on my personality. I need something to fall back on.

It was originally reported (now corrected) that Rick had no ties to Southern Florida. In fact, he has three generations of relatives in Boca Raton – including his cousin Wendi, who heads a congressional office and is basically Boca royalty.  And if those aren’t his relatives, I have been visiting some very nice people for the past 12 years.

So this is Rick’s last week of work at Fox. He’s been with the company for 17 years. I told him he needed to get together with his work friends before he left. So he sent out an email to a few folks, saying to come have a last drink with him because his wife insisted he needed closure.  I think they’ll show up, at least out of sympathy that he was forced to use the word closure in an email.

But of course, there is no such thing as closure. I’m trying not to think about all the amazing friends and wonderful people we are leaving behind because it’s just sad. Incredibly sad.

We’re just going to say goodbye, put on our hair pieces and fly on out of here.

mama bird diaries

Have you liked the mama bird diaries on Facebook? What are you waiting for?! It’s glorious! With no humidity!

11 Responses to the truth about rick’s hair

  • Debra Sharpe says:

    I am going to really MISS Rick when he leaves Fox News! He was one person I really admired, and he just seemed like a “nice guy.” But I can keep up with you guys on the Mama Bird Diaries. I wish you the very best on your move! P.S. Your children are gorgeous!

  • You need to get hold of those people from Moving Day/ Relocation to move you – you get a nice recorded copy of the chaos to watch fondly on the days you wonder what in Sam Hell prompted you to move in the first place. Although… when you have that gorgeous Tan and beautiful tresses (thanks to uneducated children) you’ll remember….

    We’ve just got two Fox channels! I haven’t watched them yet. Apologies!

  • Heather says:

    As a former Mouthy sister, I will divulge my sleek-hair-in-high-humidity secrets. First, get a high quality hair dryer. You want one that will get super hot. This makes ALL of the difference in the world. You can use the most expensive sleeking creams in the world, but if your hair dryer doesn’t get hot enough to straighten out that hair it doesn’t matter. I use a Palladium ceramic dryer. Second, get a high quality ionic round brush. A good salon should have them. Third, use Fekkai glossing cream. Fourth, own a LOT of ponytail holders because somedays? Damn, there’s just no hope.

  • George says:

    I have watched Rick for years even on the New York local channel. I have always enjoyed watching him and will miss him very much. Hope he stays on Twitter. Don’t be sad. It isn’t like moving to Australia or someplace like that. Only a couple hours to come back to visit . The best of luck to you guys and your great kids.

  • As someone who moved lock,stock, and barrel (whatever the hell that means) half-way around the world, I feel your pain. Moving isn’t really the problem, I’ve discovered. It’s the packing for the move that’s like the 10th ring of hell. And as a dweller in a really hot & humid place (that isn’t hell but just gets that hot), I suggest that it’s time to embrace … the braid. Also, the bun.
    Upside of Florida? February will be spent in flipflops instead of galoshes; there wil be no mittens to lose.
    Good luck. It’s going to be tricky, and then wonderful.

  • Kristina Dorfman says:

    Love that you get the nod (more than once) for your blogging know all in the article about Rick’s career move. Good luck with it all, you and your hair will do great 🙂

  • bitsy says:

    Here’s an insider tip: it might be possible to send those kids to college after all. Florida has a pre-paid tuition plan that is a screaming deal. And even if you move out of the state before your kids go to college, your kids still get in-state tuition in Florida and its already paid for! I haven’t been a resident there for 17 years but my kid is about to go to school there for way cheaper than if she stayed in-state in our current state.

    Oh and don’t worry about your hair because 80’s big hair is about to make a comeback!

  • Becky says:

    It’s such an exciting new chapter. Perhaps you need to change your blog name to Frizzy Hair and the Toupee!

    p.s. the Keratin treatment isn’t toxic and it’s quite fab.

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