We are moving to the Miami area in a week. A W-E-E-K. I’m trying to sort through the house before the packers come but it’s a ridiculous endeavor since children are out to defeat me. Like begging me to keep a coffee table that has been sitting in our basement since the Paleolithic era (obviously that’s an estimate).
Word has leaked out about Rick’s new job opportunity. Apparently he is not going down to Florida to wrangle alligators as I had previously thought but instead he’s going to stick with the news thing. Which is crazy because news is so depressing and alligators are so spunky!
Rick’s new job was reported on Jose Lamiet’s Gossip Extra and this was by far my favorite quote, “Folbaum has managed to stay away from political controversies at Fox, but has been the target of rumors about his wearing a hair piece!”
His hair is real. I swear. And it better stay in his head because there is no money for a toupee. Now that we are moving to Florida, all our money is going to be funneled into anti-frizz hair products for me. When my kids ask why there is no money for college, I will simply point to my sleek locks and say, “Study this darlings! Isn’t my hair fabulous?”
Actually, I won’t do the Brazilian Blowout again, so my hair is going to look awful down there. That’s why I am madly working on my personality. I need something to fall back on.
It was originally reported (now corrected) that Rick had no ties to Southern Florida. In fact, he has three generations of relatives in Boca Raton – including his cousin Wendi, who heads a congressional office and is basically Boca royalty. And if those aren’t his relatives, I have been visiting some very nice people for the past 12 years.
So this is Rick’s last week of work at Fox. He’s been with the company for 17 years. I told him he needed to get together with his work friends before he left. So he sent out an email to a few folks, saying to come have a last drink with him because his wife insisted he needed closure. I think they’ll show up, at least out of sympathy that he was forced to use the word closure in an email.
But of course, there is no such thing as closure. I’m trying not to think about all the amazing friends and wonderful people we are leaving behind because it’s just sad. Incredibly sad.
We’re just going to say goodbye, put on our hair pieces and fly on out of here.
mama bird diaries
Have you liked the mama bird diaries on Facebook? What are you waiting for?! It’s glorious! With no humidity!