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I keep hearing about this thing that families are doing over the weekend and it has me really intrigued. They describe it like this…

“We just hang out. We have no plan. The kids play and we never even make it out of the house. Never even get out of our pajamas. It’s great.”

I mean, how are you people doing this?

I do like to “hang out” on the weekends. We like to play in the house, watch some “American Idol”, play a little dance Wii, jump on the trampoline, make some chocolate chip pancakes, eat another snack 10 minutes later, play some board games, make some pillow forts and then it’s still only 9:30 in the god damn morning.

9:30 AM.

I also can’t do the no shower thing. If there was a Shower Club of America, I would be the president. No, higher than the president. I would be the Queen of the Shower Club of America. Is there anything higher than queen?

I love a nice refreshing body spritz and can’t get through a whole day without one. Don’t think this means that I wash my hair.  I find the hair washing completely unnecessary because my hair looks awesome when it’s dirty. The first day I wash it, it’s like I just came out of a casting call for Xanadu.

(I look so much like Olivia Newton-John in that photo.)

But I can’t skip the body shower.

And well, once I am showered, I might as well go somewhere.

At least a walk to Starbucks. Oh yeah, that “I don’t go to Starbucks thing” is over.

And my kids can’t spend all day in the house either. They start to bicker over who actually owns a bracelet from a 2010 princess birthday party even though neither of them has even glanced at it since the day after that 2010 princess birthday party.

So we get out of the house. Anywhere really. This past weekend, we found ourselves at the mall. We went to Brookstone where the kids were playing with neck massage things that looked a whole lot like vibrators but who the hell knows. And then we went to the bookstore and read lots of awesome books that we didn’t buy and then we got delicious cinnamon pretzels. And it just felt good to be out.

But I applaud you families who can hang all day at home in your pajamas. You are a comfy, cozy bunch and a lot stronger than I could ever be.

mama bird notes:

Okay, I truly love this campaign from the International Olympic Committee. They are looking for videos of you showcasing your BEST talent. It can be anything (hula hooping, skateboarding, rock climbing, etc). And you could end up getting featured in a global Olympic TV spot or win a trip to the 2012 games in London!! How fancy is that?!

Obviously, I’m thinking about all my glorious talents and trying to hone in on the most impressive one. Right now, I’ve narrowed it down to (1) Eating candy, (2) my chimpanzee impression or (3) standing on my head while eating candy and doing my chimpanzee impression. Obviously feel free to weigh in.

Meanwhile, here is more info on the campaign….

(This is a sponsored video)

25 Responses to the stay at home family

  • Michelle says:

    Hilarious! Love the comparison to Xanadu. Can totally relate to the crazy hair. I have curly hair and some days I look like Carrot Top. Don’t be jealous!

  • It was the “and it’s only 9:30 in the morning” part that really hit home. Even a “short” excursion to Bordeaux will usually keep us out and about until it’s time for nap. I am a big fan of gratuitous trips to Ikea (they have wine in the Ikea restaurants here!) and far-away grocery stores.

    The gratuitous Ikea trip was also a favorite when we lived in LA. Yes, I would OCCASIONALLY let my child play in the ballroom while I happily drank coffee up in the restaurant and hoped that the buzzer wouldn’t go off.

    I am a bad mother.

  • Jessica says:

    We used to be this family but not out of a parenting philosophy, out of necessity. All of our kids were so little that getting everyone up, dressed and ready to go was way too much work for the weekend. Now that the little ones are getting older we venture out into the land of the living more often.

  • I always have this grand idea of staying home and doing nothing. . . and then 9:30 rolls around. Exactly how you described it.

    I’m totally envious of those whose family can just chilax all day with no bickering.

  • anna says:

    you can make it to 9:30? i’m impressed. sometimes i have a similar day and look at the clock and it’s still like only 7:45 and nothing is even open yet.

  • Stephanie says:

    We are the Jammie McJammerson family on Sundays. I loathe it. I feel it is not fair for my husband to get to see our kids behave and play nice at home instead of scream and make a scene in public.

  • Heidi says:

    OMG, I completely agree with Anna who was amazed you could make it to 9:30 a.m. I’m usually dying by 8:30 at least. And while I love the idea of staying home and being cozy all day, I just don’t have a super cozy kid. 10 minutes, tops. And then she’s going to destroy my house so instead of spending hours cleaning up after her, we GET OUT!

  • Kim W says:

    I have two older boys and a 3-year-old. Since I work during the week, and the 3-year-old is out and about with his dad all week, we often spend all weekend at home. The older boys are in and out of the house — going to friends’ houses, or bringing friends over. The 3-year-old is content to stay in all weekend, and I am too.

    When I stayed at home with the older boys, it was just as you described. 9:30. Every day.

    (Little League just started, so disregard everything I just said about staying in during the weekend.)

  • Becky says:

    I *wish* we had nothing to do, but my 10 and 9 year old sons are always practicing/playing some sport that their dad is helping to coach. But I do manage to find time every couple of weeks to squeeze in a mani/pedi. In fact, I’d like to be Queen of the Mani/Pedi, if the job is available.

  • Sarka says:

    Is there a place except for houses and malls (or other places where you spend money) where American people can go and enjoy themselves?

    I would suggest nature, sightseeing or sporting together, for example…

    I don’t want to be mean. I’m just surprised.

    • Kelcey says:

      Oh for sure! We love being outside. I’m talking about when the weather is cold and we can’t be outside – there are VERY few options for young kids.

  • johanna says:

    i long for the day where we get to stay home and do nothing…but then the day comes and it is jammed packed with constant needs, activities, meltdown, meal after snack after meal after snack, and the same games/books/toys as all the other days. So I remember even if its alot of work to get out, getting out is what saves our sanity for at least part of the day.

  • Nancy Walton says:

    Am I the only one who was hoping the video at the end was of you doing your chimpanzee impression while standing on your head and eating candy? I think not. . .

  • Diane says:

    Our weekends now revolve around dragging our younger two to their older sibling games/meets/matches depending on the season. Agony really. Every now and then we get a bye weekend but that is only because of holidays. However our alternative of staying home is described exactly as you did in your hilarious post. Except I also get the “Mom I’m bored complaint”.

  • erinb says:

    seriously am I the only one who likes to hang at home and chill in my PJ’s taking turns between watching Fashion Star and Dora?? you people are misssssssing out!

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kelcey kintner