I am sitting in jury duty and thinking… this seriously rocks. Am I not supposed to like this?
I have my laptop, my Blackberry, a Starbucks grande cafe mocha and a NY Post. And no one is bothering me. No one is crying. Not one person here has asked me to take them to the potty, pick them up or get them a snack. Apparently, all these other potential jurors are impressively self sufficient.
Although I wouldn’t mind wiping one guy’s nose who keeps sniffling over there.
But I can’t stay.
I must delay this jury bliss because the City of New York needs a 2 to 8 day commitment and I’ve got some stuff going on… like my husband is recovering from skin cancer surgery (he’s recovering very well) and my father (my jury duty babysitter) has shingles (Thank you to my mother-in-law for high tailing it up here to fill in).
If that doesn’t convince them, I will simply explain that I’m really just too tired to serve because last night I was out late at the NYC Moms Blog launch party, meeting all sorts of super cool, smart women. But I have to be careful and not brag (I’m sure they make braggers serve jury duty) that I won an 8 piece Calphalon cookware set there, courtesy of Graco. I entered their contest by sending in a photo that captured, “A Day in the Life of a New York City Mom”
So, of course, I sent in this one…
of 3 1/2 year-old Dylan using the portable potty on the street. Ok, I kind of feel like I pimped out my daughter to win but those are some really kickin’ pots and pans. If you like to cook gourmet meals, please come over and make me something on my new Calphalon. Winning stuff is so cool. Ok, I promise, another mama bird giveaway coming soon.
I should have brought Dylan to jury duty. Because that girl can think of a brazen excuse to get out of anything. Here are a few of my favorites from the past week.
Me: Honey, I want to put this barrette in your hair.
Dylan: No, you can’t. Doggy likes me to wear my hair down. (Note to reader: Doggy is a stuffed animal who I don’t think has ever expressed much of an interest in hair styling.)
Me: Dylan, please zipper up your coat. We need to leave for school.
Dylan: I can’t. I have a baby in my belly (She sticks out her belly as obvious proof).
Me: Dylan, please finish your dinner.
Dylan: I can’t because I have a rash on my tushy… so I can’t eat my dinner.
Me: Dylan, let’s take Summer and go get coffee. It will be fun. We’ll take a walk.
Dylan: Oh I can’t. I have to put Summer to sleep in the hall. (Confused? Perhaps a photo will explain.)
I don’t really know what’s going on here but at least I prevented Dylan from moving any of our furniture into the hallway. And I did eventually get my coffee.
Even without Dylan by my side, I manage to convince the court folks to delay my jury service.
Court Lady: When do you want to come back… June, July, August, September?
Me: Oh, June is good. That’s the soonest? Alright then. Yeah, that would be just perfect. Really looking forward to it. See you then!