There is so much to wear while you are pregnant. And so little afterward. I’ve long thought there should be a postpartum t-shirt line so people get a heads up that you just had a baby. Because a woman who has recently given birth looks pretty much like a woman who is 4 or 5 months pregnant.
My father-in-law still vividly remembers asking a family friend when she was due. Yeah, the baby was already home from the hospital. It’s hard to politely recover from a conversation like that. You pretty much shout congratulations, get the hell out of there and send a very expensive baby gift.
So to avoid these types of situations, here is my new postpartum t-shirt line. The line is called, If You Ask Me If I’m Pregnant, I Will Probably Kill You.
“No, I’m not pregnant.”
“Don’t even think of asking me when I’m due.”
“Just because I’m still wearing maternity pants doesn’t mean I’m still pregnant.”
“I already had the baby. Why else would I look this tired?!”
“The baby is at home. This belly brought to you by chocolate croissants.”
See? Problem solved! And so much easier than carrying your baby everywhere you go.
mama bird notes:
Do you family meetings work? I give it a try. Find out what happened on Alpha Mom.
8 Responses to the postpartum wardrobe: what to wear after the baby
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kelcey kintner
This line WILL sell. I’ll help you market it. Great idea!
Could you design one saying: “No, I’m not pregnant and my last baby is 9 years (not months) old.” UGH
I have a design to add to the line. An arrow pointing to the belly – instead of “baby inside” it would say, “baby at home…..baby fat inside”. Also, “got wine?”
Love the concept! I think you have something here! I’ll invest! Kelcey, I had a dream last night that I was you…the mom of your five kids! All I can say is I don’t know how you do it and I woke up exhausted!
Do you sell those to moms whose kids are 9 and 11?
I’m in! I’ve never had a baby or been pregnant but have been asked when I’m due. “Nope, just gut.” The worst was when I ruptured my Achilles tendon, had surgery, and missed work for 6 weeks. Everyone asked me how the baby was! It confused me at first, I mean I know I whined a lot staying at home with no A/C and a cast but I didn’t think I was that big of a baby about it…… ..oh!
Oh the last two are my favourites!!!
My husband once asked my good friend if she was hiding a puppy in her belly a mere five days after she gave birth. She cried/laughed. I could have killed him.