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The other day I was dustbusting croissant crumbs off my 16 month-old….

Wait, you don’t do this? You really must try it. Your kid will be clean in no time. No paper towels or wipes. But let me warn you. You might not want to try this method with a toddler. Because in general, they are not amused if you come at them with a loud, sucking vacuum. But a baby? Dustbust him or her shiny and new.

So anyway, I was cleaning Summer and totally in the dustbust zone, when my mind began to wander and I started adding up all the missing items in my home.

It’s like a scavenger hunt around here without any clues.

Our tv remote from the bedroom was missing for more than 2 months. We searched. We researched. We surrendered. Yesterday, 3 1/2 year-old Dylan pulls one of her many backpacks out of her toy closet and guess what turned up inside… THE REMOTE. I practically hugged that thing.

I know Dylan was responsible. But Dylan is blaming her younger sister, Summer. And Summer isn’t talking. Not really the girl’s fault. She only knows like 6 words and three of them are “Elmo.”

Summer’s homeopathic teething tablets have also vanished. Dylan admits to moving them. But can’t exactly pinpoint where she put them.

And the shoes. There is a lot of taking shoes from mommy’s closet. (It always spooks me out to talk about myself in the 3rd person. Must stop doing that.)

But not a lot of returning going on. And wouldn’t you agree that the “returning” of the shoes should be the key part of this scenario?

Meanwhile, it’s been just too long since I showed you a snapshot of Dylan using her portable potty. It seems cruel to make you wait any longer.

So here she is at the park. And her preschool friends are WAITING patiently for their turn. Dylan, the portable potty princess, went first.

Then Julia and Chloe gave it a try and I don’t mean to brag but Dylan was the only one who actually made something happen in that potty. Even Summer sobbed until she got her turn on the plastic throne.

No, I’m not trying to potty train my 16 month-old. Way too lazy over here.

By the way, it was kind of a momentous week. My mother-in-law turned 60 (Just wait until you hear the torid gossip about that woman. Oh wait, she reads this blog everyday. Never mind.) and my dad turned 65. I told him we are going to start looking into assisted living facilities first thing in the morning. Is it too harsh to mock a guy that just recovered from shingles? I hope not.

mama bird notes

If you are wondering about Rick’s Juno hamburger phone that I gave away (and I’m absolutely sure you’re obsessed with it), it’s found a lovely home with mama bird reader Allison T. and her family.

Rick might think that phone is lost somewhere in our home.

20 Responses to the hunt

  • Kristen says:

    can you really dustbust Summer? My girls cannot stand the dustbuster. Oh my, if I turn it on Mallory just starts crying!

  • Jessi says:

    I must invest in a dustbuster. So much easier to lug around than my kirby (which I am not friends with at the moment).

    Can you check your house for my son's lost camo croc? We've searched all over, now it's on to search someone else's house for it.

  • mayberry says:

    We could not find our remote forever and finally bought a new one. Yeah, it was in the next room inside a big ceramic pitcher, thanks to another squirrel-like toddler.

  • Jennifer H says:

    Our house is the land of missing things. I would have hugged that remote, kissed it, and proposed to it on the spot.

    Your portable potty pictures make me laugh. You could charge money for other kids using that thing.

  • Lanie says:

    The best way for me to find things is to go out and replace them. It almost always insures that the missing item will turn up. . .

  • sam says:

    i love looking for lost items. just found my eyeglasses in the garbage. paolo is VERY helpful when it comes to disposing of things and is definitely thinking of a career in the sanitation arts. p.s. kelcey, one word: flipflops!! how happy are we??

  • Sally says:

    My kids are 17 and 12 (boo), but when they were little, guests were inspired to develop dustbuster-action-slippers for me. I was that obsessed with obliterating crumbs and yuck. Now I'm dealing with cleats clumped with dried mud, giant baseball bags, yoga mats, makeup experiments smeared on washcloths and, surprise!, turned inside out – all from my kids. I am grateful that I forced them to "embrace the dustbuster" when the were little so they have utter respect for my neurosis today.

  • Robyn says:

    I ABSOLUTELY dustbust Bear — and he loves it! I have about a million questions about the portable potty (especially since I should start thinking about potty-training Bear soon…). Is there a bag inside? What do you do w/the "presents" left behind while you're out and about? Does it come w/a carrying case?

    Sorry I'm so clueless!

  • The Mom Bomb says:

    I totally relate to the lost remote. Ours went AWOL for a week and I thought my husband was going to implode with anxiety. The remote in his hand satisfies some mysterious male primal need to control techno-thingies.

  • mackbeth says:

    For those of us who are car commuting you can find all kinds of lost items underneath the car seats. You could offer up some serious 1/2 eaten snacks and lollipops too!

  • Denise says:

    Oh my, you see my 16th month old loves to sit on the potty as well. I am not quite sure what to make of it, she gets this nervous laughter and demands taking her diaper off, and repeats "pah-ee" "pah-ee".

  • i literally spit out coffee at that photo of summer + croissant + dustbuster. hilarious. good tip too about starting them young, no way my 3 year old would have any part of that. he's afraid of ants for crying out loud.

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kelcey kintner