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Now and then, I just abandon my husband with all four kids so he can have some quality time with all of them.

(Quality time = Constantly responding to a million requests while trying to keep the house from getting completely trashed while listening to a lot of whining while trying to squeeze in a shower for yourself.)

I recently left him on a Saturday morning so I could head into New York City and meet my friend Jen for breakfast. She’s from Colorado so I rarely see her. Plus, she is one of five kids so who better to give me a little pep talk before the birth of baby #5. (Is “Five” a weird name? Asking for a friend.)

But because I’m a good wife, I try to give Rick some idea of what to do with all our kiddos so I don’t return and find him trapped under a pile of baby dolls and toy kitchen utensils.

On this particular morning, I told him to take the crew to a kids play space and I even packed up our brown bag for him.

The brown bag is vital for survival on any outing.

It has snacks. It has water. It has wipes. It has a change of clothes for Chase and Harlowe, in case there is some unfortunate potty accident which there isn’t unless you don’t bring the bag. Every time we leave the house without the brown bag, it never works out for us. I’d rather forget my cell phone than this bag. Now you understand.

Having done everything I could to make his morning better, I kissed everyone goodbye and left for New York City.

And it wasn’t until I was headed over the Triborough bridge, now called the RFK bridge, but everyone still calls it the Triborough so I don’t know why they changed it, when I noticed this…

brown diaper bag

Yup, I accidentally took the brown bag with me.

So much for being a helpful wife.

At least I had plenty of snacks.

24 Responses to the good wife

  • Honestmum says:

    Noooo! Totally relate to this. I actually keep buying new, pretty baby bags (some even designer ones) as they’ve replaced my usual handbag with the amount of things I need for 2 kids. You might need a suitcase when Baby 5 comes along!

  • Lauren says:

    Did you ever see the Bravo show 9 by design? They named one of their kids Five & I think they had seven kids (he was the only numbered child 😉

  • OMH!! We had a little fold up bag inside The Black Bag! The fold up bag had the nappies, creams, wipes, etc and The Black Bag had the clothes, blanket, pacifier, fold up bag, etc.

    We left Durban and went allllll the way up to Howick (about an hour if I drive, 45 minutes if the Hubs drives, and an hour and a half if my mother drives) on Christmas day. When we got there we discovered the Bunny needed a nappy change. And that The Black Bag was where it should be, in the car, but the fold up bag was on the couch an hour away… on Christmas day.

    I managed to find a shop that was not yet closed (the door was about 4 inches open and I got through it while the chap was moving it shut) and rescue a bag of nappies and wipes from their counter. Yay for me. Sort of. I would have driven all the way back to Durban if I had to.

  • My husband called me about twenty minutes into my thirty minute drive to the airport last week.

    Apparently I had both sets of keys to his minivan. And he had to take the kids to school in twenty minutes. And do other driving over the three days I was supposed to be on a business trip.

    By some miracle, I made it home from the airport, threw the keys out the window at him, and made it back to the airport without missing my flight.

    He was ten minutes late dropping the kids off to school, though.

  • Marta says:


    And yes, every single time you don’t bring it there’s catastrophe and when you do you hardly ever need it. But after a poop explosion in the library last year that will go down in history (I’m surprised they let us back in, I carried my daughter out naked in a towel) I will never ever forget THE BAG.

  • emah says:

    You know, Quentin means fifth.

    Also, I managed, the first day I went back to teaching after having the baby #1, to pack my messenger bag with rosters and syllabuses and whatnot, and the diaper bag (cool black messenger bag style) with diapers and pacifiers and favorite toys.

    And then I switched the bags. So my mother-in-law had to try to entertain baby with mommy’s fun papers, and I had to teach classes with only crinkly lion to help. Whoops.

  • Laura says:

    Well, is this a dumb question? Is it possible for a dad to pack a brown bag? My answer: probably no. I think my husband took one kid in the car one morning (1.5 yrs old) … without any extra diapers. Of course, there was a major LA freeway shutdown. My daughter didn’t want to sit in the dirty diaper, so he cleaned her off, and sat her naked. On a towel. In the car seat. For the 2+ hour traffic ride back home. Needlesstosay, that car seat needed a thorough washing. Ohhh dads.

  • Oh, OUCH! Reminds me of the time I went gallivanting around town with my SIL, secure in the knowledge that my husband was having a great time taking the kids to the pool. Got home to find out that I had taken the pool passes with me.

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kelcey kintner